When I was six, I thought grownuppery would happen at nine. At nine, I thought thirteen was the age of adulthood. At thirteen, I knew I was at the pinnacle of wisdom and maturity – if only my teachers and parents would acknowledge that I was their equal. Once I got over that assumption, I always aimed a few years ahead for the exact moment when I would become an adult, or at least behave like one. Now, at 33 and expecting a baby of my own, I pretty much feel like a kid most of the time. Except for one thing: I now read the directions that come with my toys. Which is how I found the following misdirections this morning in the packaging for my camera’s battery charger. This multi-folded bit of paper assures me that I am not yet an adult – after all, adults should be able to process even complex directions such as this:
When the charging is complete, the LED light will turn orange. As(sic) this point, the battery can be removed for use. It is recommended, however, that you leave the battery connected to the charger for another 30 minutes to ensure a full, or “topped off”, charge. It is best to remove the battery after charging but it is ok to leave the batery(sic) in the charger for a short time because the micro processor controller will reduce voltage loss.
Um, wha–? Take the “batery” out when? After the light turns orange, or a half hour after that, or after it’s finished charging, which is when, exactly? And if it’s supposed to come out a while after the light turns orange and there’s no buzzer or beep or bloop to tell me when that happens, how do I know? Do I time it? Do I watch the battery charge? That’s guaranteed to be a fun time.
And that is why I read the directions: They make me feel young. And they amuse me severely.
@Katie – And that assumes that boiling is, of course, your purpose. Which it could be. If you’re a ten-year-old boy. 😉
@Marilyn – I’ve thought about that. If only they didn’t eat through batteries faster than I could replace them. Methinks I just take too many pictures.
@Natalie – Good point! I remember trying to wrestle with those when I was a kid. After a few minutes, I’d always find some adult to hand them over to – usually a parent. Soon I’ll be that adult. Scary thought. Better hone my toy-opening skills now.
I never read instructions. If it fails then I’m doing something wrong. I usually fix it by trying everything I know. As for instructions there too complicated. lol. 🙂
Suzanne
The secret is that NO ONE is a grownup! Those who say they’re grown up are actually lying.
have you ever gotten those directions with pictures only? no actual written directions. i got those once–for a piece of furniture. that had like 25 parts. all pictures. i ended up returning the damn thing.
So funny. Anything with written instructions goes immediately to my husband. Very useful, he is — with his degree in mechanical engineering! 🙂