I’ve recently entered the brainstorming stage of my next book. It’s a fun, crazy time. Sometimes my mood is rainbows. Sometimes it’s angst. Right now my mood wants lists (as it often does), so here you go: a step-by-step guide to plotting a book. All you writers out there, this is for you. You’re welcome.
1. Find the most inconvenient time/place. Showers are good. Cars, too. Lying in bed, comfortable, mostly asleep? Perfect.
2. Think about something else.
3. Bolt of lightning crashes above you, singeing little bits of your hair as it sizzles past. Geez, that was close.
4. You’ve got it! THE idea! (By the way, you’re brilliant. Good job.)
5. Ignore it or write it down? Debate the options. Decide to wait. You are wet/busy steering/warm and comfortable. The idea can hold…Can’t it?
6. Suddenly remember the last time you told yourself that. Disgraced and petulant, that particular World’s Best Idea slunk away, never to return again. The only things you remember about it are that it had something to do with the letter ‘R’ and it felt like perfection on a milkshake. So, yeah, not helpful.
7. Curse your memory. Curse the timing of lightning. Curse the notepad, which always parts ways with the pen you were certain you put it next to. Curse writing. Who invented it, anyway? It’s their fault you’re even in this mess.
8. Find both the pen and the notebook. Finally.
9. The pen even works. It’s a miracle. Celebrate.
10. But not too long, because ideas have an expiration date, and this one’s nearing it.
11. Grab a towel/pull off the road/sit up in the dark.
12. Write. Begin to feel giddy. This is the best idea ever! Ooh! And there’s a nice subplot! And a turning point! The first? Second? Whatever. You’ll figure it out.
13. Maybe later, though, since you ARE naked and freezing and hogging the bathroom/getting honked at/burning under the glare of a grumbly spouse who JUST WANTS YOU TO TURN OUT THE LIGHT ALREADY. These people do not understand the joys of writing, poor things. They deserve your pity.
14. There’s no time for pity. You have an idea to write. Get back to work.
15. When you are satisfied, stash the notebook and pen and resume your mundane, non-writing task, all the while planning time to type in those pages and further flesh out your idea before you a) forget what you meant by “arrow moonbeam swirl” and b) forget how to read your own handwriting.
16. Repeat process until book is outlined. Then repeat throughout the writing phase. And revisions. And after you turn in your revisions. And basically until you start a new book. And maybe even a little after that.
BONUS STEP: Later, when you are visiting an elementary school, describing your writing process, an earnest third grader will ask you where your ideas come from. A few good answers may cross your mind: Wal*Mart, the newspapers, dreams. But ultimately you will find yourself telling the truth: “Bad timing. My best ideas come from the worst timing.”
Great list, Caryn! I talk out plot points in the car a lot, and then have to repeat them to myself until I arrive at my destination so I don’t forget. Fun stuff. Such is writing. Good luck with this next book!
I do the same thing, Vicki! The people in all the other cars probably think I’m nuts, but anything to get those ideas to stick around long enough to be recorded. And thanks for the luck! Good luck with yours, too!
Oh! This was so great Caryn! I have little notes for idea everywhere (mostly for nonfiction essays). Then I eventually put them all in the “notes” section of my phone. SEE! I need that darn phone!
Yes! THAT is when phones come in handy! I have Evernote on mine, and on my computer, so everything syncs. Then I can just copy everything over into my book or blog when I’m ready for it. So handy.
This is brilliant! Hahaha 😀
Thanks, Bonnee!
Oh my gosh… this post is SO SPOT ON. So brilliant. It’s obvious you know exactly how it works, Caryn! LOL. 😉
Yeah, it’s happened once or twice. 😀 Seriously, I don’t know how I’d get any plotting done if it weren’t for the inconvenient times. Sounds like it’s the same way for you.
perfect! i am under those conditions daily! i wonder why i dont have more brilliant ideas…
i know, waterproof notebook!
or dry erase pen in shower!
A friend of mine actually has shower crayons. Don’t know if she uses them, but her husband bought them for her and she was so excited. I think Crayola makes them. Wonder if those would work. Hmm…
LOL! You totally stole my writing process! Sometimes I wonder how anyone writes a book!
I wonder that sometimes, too! Especially if they never drive, fall asleep immediately every night, and prefer baths to showers. How would they get any plotting done?
That’s EXACTLY it! Mine are almost always when I should be asleep. Once I wrote out a whole idea in the dark only to find in the morning I’d written over top of already full pages. *sigh* 🙂
Oh, no! I’ve done that before. It’s awful. I hope you were able to figure out all the writing.
This is perfect!! I have a little sign that reads “the biggest lie I tell myself is that I won’t forget” because I swear I always do! Definitely need to glue a notebook to myself (working pen included :).
That is a great idea, Meradeth! I tell myself the same thing, but I always convince myself otherwise. If I had a sign, though, maybe it would help. And if only there were a way to glue notebooks and pens to ourselves. Then we’d always have them when the ideas strike.
SO TRUE!!! How does The Idea know? 🙂
And uh, I may have forgotten quite a few good ones because of the inconvenience/laziness factor. *sigh*
Me, too, Janet. When you’re tired and/or feeling lazy it’s so easy to convince yourself you’ll remember, isn’t it? *sigh* indeed.
Plotting is something I tend to be spontaneous about but I’m working at being more formalized. Someday. lol
Oh, don’t worry, Donna! I’d never presume to tell someone how to plot. This post was just for fun.