I’ve recently entered the brainstorming stage of my next book. It’s a fun, crazy time. Sometimes my mood is rainbows. Sometimes it’s angst. Right now my mood wants lists (as it often does), so here you go: a step-by-step guide to plotting a book. All you writers out there, this is for you. You’re welcome.
1. Find the most inconvenient time/place. Showers are good. Cars, too. Lying in bed, comfortable, mostly asleep? Perfect.
2. Think about something else.
3. Bolt of lightning crashes above you, singeing little bits of your hair as it sizzles past. Geez, that was close.
4. You’ve got it! THE idea! (By the way, you’re brilliant. Good job.)
5. Ignore it or write it down? Debate the options. Decide to wait. You are wet/busy steering/warm and comfortable. The idea can hold…Can’t it?
6. Suddenly remember the last time you told yourself that. Disgraced and petulant, that particular World’s Best Idea slunk away, never to return again. The only things you remember about it are that it had something to do with the letter ‘R’ and it felt like perfection on a milkshake. So, yeah, not helpful.
7. Curse your memory. Curse the timing of lightning. Curse the notepad, which always parts ways with the pen you were certain you put it next to. Curse writing. Who invented it, anyway? It’s their fault you’re even in this mess.
8. Find both the pen and the notebook. Finally.
9. The pen even works. It’s a miracle. Celebrate.
10. But not too long, because ideas have an expiration date, and this one’s nearing it.
11. Grab a towel/pull off the road/sit up in the dark.
12. Write. Begin to feel giddy. This is the best idea ever! Ooh! And there’s a nice subplot! And a turning point! The first? Second? Whatever. You’ll figure it out.
13. Maybe later, though, since you ARE naked and freezing and hogging the bathroom/getting honked at/burning under the glare of a grumbly spouse who JUST WANTS YOU TO TURN OUT THE LIGHT ALREADY. These people do not understand the joys of writing, poor things. They deserve your pity.
14. There’s no time for pity. You have an idea to write. Get back to work.
15. When you are satisfied, stash the notebook and pen and resume your mundane, non-writing task, all the while planning time to type in those pages and further flesh out your idea before you a) forget what you meant by “arrow moonbeam swirl” and b) forget how to read your own handwriting.
16. Repeat process until book is outlined. Then repeat throughout the writing phase. And revisions. And after you turn in your revisions. And basically until you start a new book. And maybe even a little after that.
BONUS STEP: Later, when you are visiting an elementary school, describing your writing process, an earnest third grader will ask you where your ideas come from. A few good answers may cross your mind: Wal*Mart, the newspapers, dreams. But ultimately you will find yourself telling the truth: “Bad timing. My best ideas come from the worst timing.”
Fantastic. And SO true! Especially the debate whether or not to write it down, then remember the last time I told myself that, and then get out of bed and jot it down JUST when I am about to sleep…. AH! The many woes of being a writer!
Exactly! That’s exactly what happens!
Not sure if my comment went through….
I just said that this post was SO true, especially the part in getting out of bed, just about to sleep, after debating whether or not to write it down because I remembered the last time I told myself that! This is great.
Weird! It *didn’t* go through, for some reason. Neither did this one. I only noticed because, for some strange reason, my anti-spam program *did* let a spam comment through. Apparently Akismet is off its game today. Glad I found this!
So funny. So true. Especially interpreting what the ‘arrow moonbeam swirl’ means. Sometimes I look at my notes and think a goblin broke in and scribbled some crap in ancient foreign language.
Ha ha! I’ve wondered very similar things. It makes sense at the time, and the letters look very legible, but later…?
Oh boy, Caryn, I can not imagine writing a book – just trying to keep up with my blogs is exhausting. You are an inspiration!
Thanks, Pat! Though I actually find it inspiring when people can keep up with blogs! It’s always much easier for me to go to work on my book than it is to blog. Maybe our minds just work differently. 🙂
Ha, I love it. I CONSTANTLY have great ideas that I never write down and remember vague things like the letter R =)
Also, you’re right you haven’t posted since November. Okay, so I don’t feel so bad.
Yeah. November. I was starting to feel pretty guilty about that one, but I was in the middle of writing/revising my book and I just couldn’t make myself stop. Now my book’s out for critique, though, so I didn’t have an excuse.
You made me laugh out loud, but besides being so funny, it is also so true! You gotta get it down when it presents itself, no matter how dang inconvenient the timing. Tom Waites tells a story about getting the first line of a song while driving on the LA freeway and shouting at the sky, “Not Now!!! Give it to someone else and come see me in half an hour!”
Exactly! No waiting allowed.
Loved the Tom Waites story. Wow. I hope he was able to remember the line, or at least pull off to record it. I understand his pain there, too. Why don’t these things ever happen at convenient times?
Too funny! I jot myself notes and a good chunk of the time I have NO idea what I meant. Either I can’t read what I wrote or I decided to use abbreviations- thinking I will definitely remember what they mean and of course later I have no clue. 🙂
Yes! Drives me crazy when that happens. Then I set the notes aside, thinking that maybe I can decipher them later. Um…that doesn’t work so well, either. 😀
Haha, I love this because it’s so true! 🙂
You, too, Stacy? Good to know I’m not alone here!
So true! All of it, especially what happens to those ideas if you don’t jot them down.
Ideas are fickle things, aren’t they? I guess it makes us appreciate them more, though!
So funny! What is it about showers, driving, and bedtime?! Last year I got a great idea while we were snowshoeing.
Good luck with the brainstorming! 🙂
Ooh. Snowshoeing is fun. I can see why it would be very inspiring that way.