Oatmeal: It’s explosive.
1) Carefully read instructions on oatmeal packet. This time you will do it right. For once, breakfast won’t end in messy defeat.
2) Stir together milk and oatmeal.
3) Set microwave according to directions. Hide pre-victory grin. Whistle. Exude confidence.
4) Watch oatmeal spin on tray, ready to halt all cooking at first sign of boilage. Squint a little. Hold breath. Fear overflow, despite yourself.
5) Stir and check status. (Answer: Oat flakes drifting in warmish milk soup.)
6) Another minute in microwave.
7) Still floaty dry oats + milk. This could take a while.
8) Set microwave for one more minute. It’s still raw, and barely lukewarm. You’re totally safe.
9) Go set table. Take your time. Swagger a little.
10) Saunter back to microwave, spoon in hand, poised to stir.
11) Open microwave door. Discover that, in your absence, your impending meal became an oatmeal volcano, spouting thick, gloppy, magma-esque mess all over clean microwave tray.
12) Congratulations! Your oatmeal is hot and (mostly) cooked. So is the tray beneath. Blow on breakfast. Wait for it to cool so you can finally eat it.
13) Clean-up time. Soak bowl for sixteen hours. Chisel cemented cereal off bottom of microwave. Try not to swear.
14) Vow to use water instead of milk next time, though tasteless paste isn’t your preferred dining choice.
15) Scribble “Buy bigger bowl” on shopping list. Amend to “Much, much bigger.” Underline. Add exclamation point.
16) Or there’s always toast. Toast is safe. Usually.
Your turn – what’s something you repeatedly attempt, even though you know it will lead to your ultimate doom? Talk an elderly relative through way-too-techy computer issues? Jump into NaNoWriMo with the threat of Thanksgiving (and all those pies you have to bake) hanging over your head? Make coffee in that complicated machine in the break room? Sew pants? Come on! Make me feel better. Spill it. (Yeah. Spill. You and my oatmeal…)
My oatmeal turns out okay, but when I make instant rice it turns out a mess.
For oatmeal, my trick is I use a much larger cup or bowl.
I’ll have to remember that. I haven’t tried to make instant rice on the microwave, but it was on my radar as a possibility. Maybe I’ll stick to the stove, despite the temptation on the microwave.
Toast is safe. Usually. Pft, yeah right. Obviously you’ve never had breakfast with me. I always try to cook my toast so that it’s perfectly golden-brown. The first time it pops up, it’s never quite there. So I put it down again. I get all paranoid thinking it’s going to burn so I pop it up, and it’s still not golden-brown yet. So back down it goes. Pop it back up. Still not there. Pop it back down. Next thing I know, the smoke alarm is going off and my toast is burnt black.
Though I’ll admit, I have better luck with oatmeal than you do. Hahaha 🙂
You know what this means, don’t you? If we are ever near each other for breakfast — something that is, admittedly, unlikely – I’ll make that perfect, uniformly golden brown toast, and you’ll handle the oatmeal. Deal? 🙂
Done deal for sure! 😀 Hahaha.
Oatmeal bombs! Well, that is quite a sight to behold. It does the same thing on the stove if you look away for a microsecond.
Ugh! What a pain. That’s good to know, though. I’d much rather clean out the microwave than try to wipe down a stove. You can’t soak a stove, and there are all those burners.
Ha! I’ve done this so many times. What is that makes Oatmeal do that the second your back is turned? So fun 🙂
I don’t know. It’s like it watches you, waiting for you to walk away, and then BAM! (Can oatmeal do that? Apparently…)
Oh, Caryn!
Wish I could say I have no idea at all what you’re talking about with the oatmeal, LOL. But, no!! My poor microwave… 😉 FWIW, you gotta be careful with Cocoa Wheats, too!
Ooh! I haven’t tried Cocoa Wheats, but they sound delicious. Really, anything with “Chocolate” (or some variation thereof) has got to be delicious, right?
Your post made me chuckle. Boy, do I hate when that happens! It’s like boiling macaroni. The moment you turn your back is the moment it chooses to boil over on the stove.
Yes! Macaroni is so bad about that, isn’t it? There seems to be a fine line between boiling over and barely simmering, and it’s so hard to find. According to Pinterest, if you put a wooden spoon on top of the pan it keeps it from boiling over, but I haven’t tried it yet.
You have hit on the answer–microwaved food wants constant attention as much, or more, than our kids!
While I am not proud that I allow my kids to have “Easy Mac,” I will admit it is easy (mostly)! Every time I make it, those little things boil over in the microwave. Every.time.
But. My daughter makes them more often than I do, she does not simply watch them but STARES and they never boil over. Ever. And she cooks hers 10 seconds longer than I do!
(FWIW, I make oatmeal on the stove for the most part but occasionally do use the packets–in a bowl MUCH too large for the serving. Either messy or mushy.) Though I never thought of oatmeal in the Crock Pot! Brilliant!
Exactly! Maybe there’s something about us being right in front of the microwave that allows the sensors to work differently or something…? I can’t explain it. As for the Crock Pot, regular oats or quick oats don’t work if you’re going to cook them overnight, but there are tons of recipes out there for steel cut oats. They’re delicious, but they definitely don’t taste the same as quick oats. The recipes I’ve found are huge; I usually refrigerate the leftovers and feed them to Sunshine for the next few mornings. She loves it!
Okay so this is totally me. And seriously, no matter how much I hover over said oatmeal in microwave, and no matter how big my bowl is, it ALWAYS overflows. Always. *sigh*
:0)
Thanks for the giggle!
So glad to know I’m not alone! I was afraid I was going out on a limb with this one, but it sounds like it’s not just me. And, yes, bowl size only seems to delay the inevitable, doesn’t it?
This was too funn! I no longer own a microwave because it died and I didn’t replace it. I can’t cook much- but luckilly my fiance is an excellent cook. I get everything wrong!
Lucky you, to have a fiance who cooks. Sounds like you know how to pick them. And how cool that you get by without a microwave.
Oh my gosh, this was so funny. If I had a nickel for every time this happened to me… Well done!
Thanks! Hey, at least you’re not alone. Oatmeal-Boil-Over-Ers unite!