In retrospect, the fertilizer might not have been a good idea. Over the last few weeks, this summer’s garden plot has become a very scary place. We’ve been overrun by groping vines and in-your-face leaves. Melon sprawl and wall-to-wall carrot carnage. Sweet pea forests. Six-pound marbled orange beefsteaks. Eggplants that grow like Pinocchio’s nose, expanding by the second.
The only thing that’s not getting any bigger is the size of our garden space.
A specimen from yesterday, pulled up with both hands. In case you thought I was exaggerating. But then, you know me. I never, ever exaggerate.
Give me strength. I fear I may not make it out alive the next time I venture in. Yesterday I barely escaped, stumbling onto the safety of the back patio with just a fistful of dirt-clotted weeds and most of my sanity. Today? Who knows. The lettuce is looking feisty, and the cucumbers have come of age. We may have a real fight on our hands.
Still, someone has to prune the pumpkins before the patch infests the neighborhood, so I’m going in. Soon as I re-tie my shoelaces. And adjust my sunglasses. And gas up the chainsaw. And any other delay tactics I can think of while still looking brave and unhesitant. I hear pumpkins can smell fear.
If you don’t see me staggering back out of this jungle by Thursday, Husqvarna in one hand, wide-brimmed hat in the other, shut off the sprinklers and send in the rescue crew. They’ll know what to do.
Oh, and if you’d like to help hack away the foliage, I’d be forever grateful. I hear the garden center has a nice pair of pruning shears they may let you use. I’m a good customer; surely they’ll share. Just sign this waiver right here, and we’ll get started.
Thanks.
P.S. Salad, anyone? There’s a feast for at least forty in here somewhere.
@Lydia – If you lived closer, we would definitely share! We’re enjoying all the veggies this year, because who knows about next year? Weather is so unpredictable.
@Cynthia – Yes! I definitely need to be better at canning things! I’ve made jam with a friend of mine, but she has to be there the whole time, telling me exactly what to do. (And, to be honest, she does a lot of the work.) Hmmm…maybe she’d like some canned veggies in exchange for her canning expertise? Will have to consider that!
@Missy – That’s exactly what prompted me to take up gardening again – it’s so good for kids!
You’ve given me garden envy.
I’ll trade you, Caryn. Our garden is sadly lacking. Usually our raspberry are crazy with berries. Not this year. 🙁
Since I can’t grow veggies in my tiny city garden (San Francisco, too much fog…not enough light) I get a vicarious thrill reading about other gardens, other gardeners. What a fun post!
Oh, how I envy your garden! I’d love to have one. We grew potted tomatoes last summer, they grew to golfball-size, Not enough sunlight and “someone” forgot to water them…
Enjoy your veggie feast! And, in a few months, your pumkin patch! I’d be tempted to quote scenes from It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown 🙂
@Leslie – Look on the bright side; the bigger the garden, the more weeding there is. 🙂
@Stina – Now I’m officially jealous! I love raspberries, but they don’t grow well here. Yum!
@Sharry – Yes, those would be tough growing conditions. I bet you have some wonderful produce, though. That’s one of the things that impressed me when I was in California – the fruits and vegetables there are amazing! So fresh and delicious.
@Susan – LOL! Yeah, tomatoes do like their water. And now I want to watch Charlie Brown!
That is one big carrot. LOL. Salad sounds really good right now.
@Jenny – I agree. Salad sounds really good. There’s something about summer that makes salads very appealing, you know?
Hey Caryn! Chiming in very late… is there any salad left? I can totally help you hack away at your foliage. It’s growing things that I have difficulty with. My thumbs are so far from green it’s not even funny.
Hope you have a wonderful holiday weekend!
For you, Robin, there’s always plenty of salad. Come have some any time! (Or, you know, if you want to just skip straight to the chocolate, we can do that too…)
Hope you have a great holiday weekend, too!
That’s gotta be the fattest carrot I have ever seen!!
Hey, now. You’re going to give it a complex. 😀
I don’t have a garden but I do have a fig tree and when in season the birds have breakfast on it’s top branches. Sometimes on the weekends, I see them have lunch as well. My family isn’t large and there are more figs than what we can eat. I share with my neighbors and friends so it’s okay for the birds to have some of it.
I’ve thought of planting vegetables but there are a lot of stray cats, squirrels and once I even saw an opossum. So, I haven’t done it yet. Maybe in the future I can set up a small greenhouse in the backyard, that way the vegetables are safe from them.
Your fig tree sounds wonderful! And how great that the birds get to enjoy it, too!
We have a local co-op garden in town that will pick trees, give people half of the produce, and sell the other half at the farmers’ market. Maybe you have something like that in town? The one downside is that then you get all the fruit at once, so it might go bad.
Oh, and a greenhouse would be fantastic!