In retrospect, the fertilizer might not have been a good idea. Over the last few weeks, this summer’s garden plot has become a very scary place. We’ve been overrun by groping vines and in-your-face leaves. Melon sprawl and wall-to-wall carrot carnage. Sweet pea forests. Six-pound marbled orange beefsteaks. Eggplants that grow like Pinocchio’s nose, expanding by the second.
The only thing that’s not getting any bigger is the size of our garden space.
A specimen from yesterday, pulled up with both hands. In case you thought I was exaggerating. But then, you know me. I never, ever exaggerate.
Give me strength. I fear I may not make it out alive the next time I venture in. Yesterday I barely escaped, stumbling onto the safety of the back patio with just a fistful of dirt-clotted weeds and most of my sanity. Today? Who knows. The lettuce is looking feisty, and the cucumbers have come of age. We may have a real fight on our hands.
Still, someone has to prune the pumpkins before the patch infests the neighborhood, so I’m going in. Soon as I re-tie my shoelaces. And adjust my sunglasses. And gas up the chainsaw. And any other delay tactics I can think of while still looking brave and unhesitant. I hear pumpkins can smell fear.
If you don’t see me staggering back out of this jungle by Thursday, Husqvarna in one hand, wide-brimmed hat in the other, shut off the sprinklers and send in the rescue crew. They’ll know what to do.
Oh, and if you’d like to help hack away the foliage, I’d be forever grateful. I hear the garden center has a nice pair of pruning shears they may let you use. I’m a good customer; surely they’ll share. Just sign this waiver right here, and we’ll get started.
Thanks.
P.S. Salad, anyone? There’s a feast for at least forty in here somewhere.
Whoa! That is one huge carrot! Er… if you ever feel like visiting and having a go at my garden… 😉
@Emily – Is there anything better at lunch than fresh veggies? I don’t think so!
@Tonja – I’ve never gown chard, but your blanching/freezing method sounds really good.
@Nancy – Pumpkins do have a way of taking over, don’t they? We pass a few gardens on our occasional evening walks, and it seems like everyone has sprawling melon vines – especially this year, for some reason.
@Madeia – I think a lot of it is luck, a lot is finally having a regular watering schedule (thanks to my husband) and a lot is weather. We’ll see how the garden fares next year!
@Monica – I know, I know…Bunnies are a nuisance, especially when you’re trying to garden. But I still find them so cute that they may just be worth the tradeoff. (Of course, ask me again when/if they discover my garden…) Maybe some fencing or a spray that scares them off?
@Carmen – Thank you! I was very excited. I was tempted to say something about it on my blog, but it felt too braggy to tack on an, “Oh, and by the way, guess what I won?” at the end of my post. And, yes, I bet the rabbits would love that carrot.
@Laura – LOL! I’ll keep it in mind. If only I could keep up with my own garden!
Here’s hoping you made it out alive. Entertaining read!
Love it! My kids are begging for a garden, but we don’t have a yard, so there you go. 🙂 Best of luck with those pumpkins!
Oh I LOVE hearing about giant, beautiful, overwhelming gardens of goodness! Yours sounds so pretty and full — it makes me wish I’d put more time into ours earlier. (Ours being more at the putt-putt stage at the moment…but it’s getting there.)
:0)
@Valerie – Thanks! I like to entertain. 🙂
@Janet – Sometimes there are community plots you can use (or perhaps rent for a low price). That’s only if you want them to have a garden as much as they want to have one, though!
@M. Christine – Our garden putt-putted for a while at first, too, but it finally caught on. I think there’s a big learning curve, coupled with having the right conditions. Good luck getting it figured out!
I’ll take some! I didn’t do a garden this year, not that it would have mattered with the drought!
This is too funny! I understand (believe me, I do) how gardens can take over. At least you have some yummy veggies. Maybe it’s time to do some canning and freezing? After the weeding, that is. Good luck!
I did my first foray into a garden this year and had a blast with it! such a great experience for me AND my kids!