In retrospect, the fertilizer might not have been a good idea. Over the last few weeks, this summer’s garden plot has become a very scary place. We’ve been overrun by groping vines and in-your-face leaves. Melon sprawl and wall-to-wall carrot carnage. Sweet pea forests. Six-pound marbled orange beefsteaks. Eggplants that grow like Pinocchio’s nose, expanding by the second.
The only thing that’s not getting any bigger is the size of our garden space.
A specimen from yesterday, pulled up with both hands. In case you thought I was exaggerating. But then, you know me. I never, ever exaggerate.
Give me strength. I fear I may not make it out alive the next time I venture in. Yesterday I barely escaped, stumbling onto the safety of the back patio with just a fistful of dirt-clotted weeds and most of my sanity. Today? Who knows. The lettuce is looking feisty, and the cucumbers have come of age. We may have a real fight on our hands.
Still, someone has to prune the pumpkins before the patch infests the neighborhood, so I’m going in. Soon as I re-tie my shoelaces. And adjust my sunglasses. And gas up the chainsaw. And any other delay tactics I can think of while still looking brave and unhesitant. I hear pumpkins can smell fear.
If you don’t see me staggering back out of this jungle by Thursday, Husqvarna in one hand, wide-brimmed hat in the other, shut off the sprinklers and send in the rescue crew. They’ll know what to do.
Oh, and if you’d like to help hack away the foliage, I’d be forever grateful. I hear the garden center has a nice pair of pruning shears they may let you use. I’m a good customer; surely they’ll share. Just sign this waiver right here, and we’ll get started.
Thanks.
P.S. Salad, anyone? There’s a feast for at least forty in here somewhere.
@Pat – Yes, we were a little surprised at the size of the carrot! Though I admit, part of me wished I’d left it in longer just to see how big it could get.
@Jess – Exactly! And I feel so guilty throwing away perfectly good food, so that isn’t an option. I really, really need to learn how to can everything. Alas, I’m hopeless unless someone’s guiding me through it.
@J.L. – Thanks! At least it was good exercise and it got me out in the sun for a while and away from my computer, so that’s good, I guess. Plus there’s something very satisfying about weeding and generally working with plants.
@Clarissa – Yeah, the carrot ended up being pretty tough since I let it go way, way too long. (It was the first time I’ve ever grown carrots, so it was an experiment.) As for the other stuff, it is such a treat to have garden fresh vegetables! The peas are my favorite, simply because we can stand there and eat them right off the vine. Yum! Then again, tomatoes are pretty good for that, too.
@Carol – Nice to meet you, too! I also had fun visiting your blog and am looking forward to reading your Facebook updates, too.
@Conda – Thank you for saying that this post made you laugh! I think that’s about the biggest compliment I can receive from a reader, so it made my evening. And while we’re on the subject, your comment cracked me up. I could just picture all those drive-by zucchini drop-offs. Very covert missions, of course. That said, they’re welcome to drop off zucchini here. They’re about the only thing we didn’t grow, only because I count on others to unload on us. Right now the subject has me dreaming of chocolate zucchini bread, though, so I’m hoping a friend reads this comment and decides to do a drive-by zucchini dropoff.
@Tuere – Yes! Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have your very own green house? I’d settle for a nice sun room with greenhouse windows, plants, and a watering system in one end and a pleasant little writing space in the other. I think it could be very nice to share writing space with so many baby plants. And the air would be very clean. Those writers must have their oxygen, after all. 🙂
lol! I agree. I entered you in a blog challenge if you haven’t already particpated in one @ http://tueremorton.wordpress.com/ 🙂
WOW! Good luck wrestling those vines, Caryn! There’s a pumpkin farmer in the novel I’m querying… you’d be a great person to ask about the whole process! HAHA.
Only if the farmer is completely incompetent at pumpkin wrestling and all the other requisite skills! 😀
Yum! Fresh vegetables from the garden make a delicious lunch. Gardens are a lot of work. You’re a super star!
Wow, that’s a big carrot. I have huge Roma tomatoes. And more chard than anyone can family can possibly eat. I’ve been blanching the tomatoes and chard once a week and freezing what we can’t eat.
That is one big carrot. My husband and I love having a garden, too. Last year, we had some carrots that were close but not quite as big as yours. The pumpkins were also a huge hit with the kids (and some of the neighborhood hooligans), but we refrained this year as they took over waaaay too much of the garden space last year. We’ve finally has a successful bean year, though.
Thanks for coming by my cooking blog (http://onecrazygirlskitchen.blogspot.com/). Most of the gardening stuff is on my day-to-day blog (http://randomthingsandkitestrings.blogspot.com/).
Happy gardening!
I don’t have a green thumb, otherwise I’d love to have a garden.
It’s a lot of work, but you sound like you know what you’re doing–unlike me.
It’s my dream too!! To have a garden like that. But you know? Here we’re plagued with rabbits. As in, when I get home at night, I *always* see a couple bouncing around under the headlights of my car.
But CONGRATS on that carrot!
I DO want salad! lol
O.o that’s a weird avatar your blog chose for me. Do I really look like that today? lol
What? You don’t see the resemblance? 😉
Seriously, the monster avatars do crack me up. I love to see what WordPress picks for people (though it’s always a little sad when it picks a good one for a spammer. Spammers don’t deserve my little monsters.)
Congratulations on winning the Sheila Award!!!! Wohoooo! And that’s one monstrosity of a carrot. I bet there’s several envious rabbits who’d love to have it for a snack!