Considering a career change? Need a job for a character in your next novel? No need to ask an actual person for his or her job description. Just watch movies. According to Hollywood, here’s what a variety of different jobs entail:
Subway/Train Conductor:
Look horrified while pulling ineffectively at the brakes.
Random Politician:
Gaze sternly into camera.
Pound podium.
Spray spittle and vitriol.
President of the United States:
Fly around in helicopters.
Make grave speeches.
Walk in step with perky young aide.
Inspire.
Reporter:
Go undercover.
Research life-or-death stories spouse/editor/creepy anonymous voice on the phone told you not to touch.
Fall in love with source.
Newspaper Editor:
Yell.
Throw things.
Surreptitiously print exposé up-and-coming reporter wrote, printed, handed to you, then asked you not to run. Declare it their best work yet.
Movie Director:
Holler “Cut!” and, on occasion, “Action!”
Motel/Convenience Store Clerk:
Shrug in bored fashion when someone shoves a photo under your nose and asks, “Have you seen this person?”
Judge:
Adjust robes.
Frown at witnesses.
Shout “Order!” and “Overruled!” at random intervals.
Pound gavel.
Taxi Driver:
Cruise streets without picking anyone up.
Honk.
Make witty banter while chasing another car or racing toward the airport.
Glance at passengers in rear-view mirror. Make bug eyes when you see what they’re doing back there.
Goon:
Run awkwardly.
Kick kneecaps.
Get shot.
Mob Boss:
Eat spaghetti.
Scowl.
Casually order multiple murders.
Examine well-buffed fingernails.
Hehe, I seriously attribute the fact that I still year to be in the FBI to Jack Bauer. I could totally shoot someone in the kneecaps.
Interesting, not to mention funny list. Would that I could get away with these in my writing. 🙂
@Cynthia – Yes, it does sound kind of fun, doesn’t it?
@Katie – Then again movie director sounds pretty easy. And you can order around famous actors and actresses.
@Lindsay – LOL! Love it!
@J.L. – Wouldn’t that be nice? Would make things so much easier. Plus you could call all your TV time “research”.
LOL! This post was WAY too funny! I’m glad I wasn’t drinking anything otherwise I would have ended spitting it on my laptop!
And I’m still laughing right now so I can’t come up with anything, lol.
What a fun post. These jobs and characters do run to type. 😀
LOVE. THE. COMMENTS.
Too funny!!!
Thanks for the laugh :0).
Ha! I loved these! And the comments have been just as fabulous!
Enjoyed this post! Thanks for the visit to my blog, and comment.
—Damyanti, Co-host A to Z Challenge April 2012
Twitter: @AprilA2Z
#atozchallenge
LOL! Totally funny!
@Monica – Well, if you think of something, feel free to come add it! There’s no expiration date. 🙂
@Medeia – Glad you liked it!
@M. Christine & Peggy – Aren’t the comments clever? I’ve loved reading them.
@Damyanti & Laura – Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for visiting.