Considering a career change? Need a job for a character in your next novel? No need to ask an actual person for his or her job description. Just watch movies. According to Hollywood, here’s what a variety of different jobs entail:
Subway/Train Conductor:
Look horrified while pulling ineffectively at the brakes.
Random Politician:
Gaze sternly into camera.
Pound podium.
Spray spittle and vitriol.
President of the United States:
Fly around in helicopters.
Make grave speeches.
Walk in step with perky young aide.
Inspire.
Reporter:
Go undercover.
Research life-or-death stories spouse/editor/creepy anonymous voice on the phone told you not to touch.
Fall in love with source.
Newspaper Editor:
Yell.
Throw things.
Surreptitiously print exposé up-and-coming reporter wrote, printed, handed to you, then asked you not to run. Declare it their best work yet.
Movie Director:
Holler “Cut!” and, on occasion, “Action!”
Motel/Convenience Store Clerk:
Shrug in bored fashion when someone shoves a photo under your nose and asks, “Have you seen this person?”
Judge:
Adjust robes.
Frown at witnesses.
Shout “Order!” and “Overruled!” at random intervals.
Pound gavel.
Taxi Driver:
Cruise streets without picking anyone up.
Honk.
Make witty banter while chasing another car or racing toward the airport.
Glance at passengers in rear-view mirror. Make bug eyes when you see what they’re doing back there.
Goon:
Run awkwardly.
Kick kneecaps.
Get shot.
Mob Boss:
Eat spaghetti.
Scowl.
Casually order multiple murders.
Examine well-buffed fingernails.
Haha! Hm… firefighter? Doctor? Love your list!
Great post. My suggestion: Computer Hacker
Live in mom’s basement
type very fast
have secret escape hatch
@Beth – LOVE it!
@Catherine – I’m really enjoying the comments, too. People are pretty funny.
@Kimberlee – That makes perfect sense! But, of course, television teaches people that a life in fashion design is always glamourous.
@Mima – Perfect! I can so picture that, too. And I always kind of liked the word ‘frolic’, which makes it even better.
@ Barbara – If only!! 😀
@ Talli – Those would be fun to characterize, wouldn’t they? Maybe someone will give them a try.
@ Moody Writing – Ha ha ha! That’s how I always pictured them, actually. Never stopped to think about what they’re actually like.
FUNNY!!! Right now I’m on a Bones kick. Talk about an interesting job!
Love it! I giggled all the way through the comments! 🙂
Oh, these are so funny! Ok, I’ll add one. My husband is a firefighter, so it bugs him when movies or tv shows depict firefighters running into burning building without their breathing apparatus. I have to remind him, “Dear, stop scratching your eyes out. It’s only a movie.”
@Jessica – I agree! I’m not sure if I could stomach it in real life, but it makes for great TV.
@Jemi – Aren’t they funny? They’ve been cracking me up, too.
@Julie – I bet! It’s hard to ignore that stuff, but probably kills some of the fun when you have to listen to it.
This is great. I especially like the newspaper editor.
Judging by your list of (very astutely collected) job descriptions, I choose ‘movie director’ for my next career. Seems like the least work : most money ratio. I could use a break…:)