Last winter, as my daughter and I spent another chilly afternoon lounging around indoors, Sunshine babbling and me responding as if she had spoken in actual sentences, I pictured all the conversations we might have when she was old enough to string more than two real words together. Naturally, I would have intelligent and well-informed answers to questions such as “Why does the wind blow?” and “Why is the sky blue?” and “What is blue, anyway? How did it get that way?” (Note to self: Do a little research. Knowing the right answers would be good.)
And then I imagined a question that truly stumped me: “Mommy, what did you want to be when you grew up? Why didn’t you do it?” What would I tell her? There’s no Wikipedia entry for that one. “Mommy wanted to be a writer,” I could say, “but she just never got around to it. You can be anything you want to be, though, sweetie. Really.” Hollow words from someone who had several completed manuscripts languishing, mostly unqueried, on her laptop, plus a few unwritten ones banging around inside her brain.
Obligatory signing-of-the-contract photo
This answer – entirely truthful and seriously lame – haunted me. Did I owe it to my daughter to follow my dream? Maybe. More importantly, I owed it to myself, my passion for writing, and my abandoned books.
The next afternoon, instead of spending Sunshine’s naptime doing laundry or reading a novel, I pulled my computer onto my lap and opened my most recent manuscript, a young adult paranormal romance I’d written several years before. After an exhaustive round of revisions I shipped it off to my phenomenal critique partner. She was nice enough to tear it apart before sending it back to me to put together again. My query letter – all three reincarnations – followed. Then I zapped it over to my friends Shari, Liz, and Heather for their (very helpful) opinions.
Finally I could stall no longer. I had to get my work out there.
I knew that, in the face of rejection, the temptation to quit querying would be strong, so I made a list of potential literary agents and vowed not to give up until I had emailed every last one. I didn’t get that far. I didn’t need to. Because after several tumultuous months, I am happy to say that last week I signed with an agent.
Although it’s not a guarantee that this book will sell, it’s one giant step closer to my being able to tell my daughter from personal experience, “Dream big. Because if you keep at it, you have a chance to make your dreams come true.” Here’s hoping that soon we will indeed make my publishing dream a reality, for this and future books. In the meantime, I have revisions to make, and a career to plan, and a new novel to write. Better get to it.
YAY!!! Wonderful news for you! And a wonderful lesson for your daughter!!
I am *still* happy dancing for you, and cannot wait to pick up your first book (and your second and your third…) I hope this is the story I got to read, because it was so amazing that I *knew* it was going to be published someday! And your voice is so strong that it didn’t matter if it was that story or another, YOU WERE GOING TO DO IT!!!
Congrats, Caryn!!!!
WOW, congrats!!! That’s wonderful and positive thoughts and vibes coming your way for the upcoming journey:)
Woohoo!!! I LOVE that you told this story through Sunshine’s eyes as well. One of the things that keeps me going when things get (really, super, extremely) frustrating is the knowledge that I can one day tell my daughter my publishing story…and wanting that story to have a happy, inspiring ending keeps me going. I am SO FREAKING proud of you and so happy that lot of other people will soon be reading your work. It NEEDS to be out there for the world to read!! I’m really glad I could be part of the process (hi all! I’m the Liz who read the query letter and also told Caryn to take the signing picture!). PS You look adorable in your pic; that’s one you need to get framed, lady!! Thanks for sharing this post!!
Congratulations! Very exciting. 🙂
And seriously, I hadn’t even thought about that as a reason to keep going, but good point!
YAY, Caryn!!!!!!!
You know I’m thrilled for you! What I also love is the wonderful example you’re setting for your daughter on following your dreams. I know just what you mean. And, someday in the future, she’ll thank you for that. Congrats again and again!!!
Ohhhh, Caryn!! I am doing the happy dance for you all around my screened porch! This is such wonderful news, and could not happen to anyone more qualified or deserving. You are a terrific writer, and this book is going to get a contract, and be out there for the whole world to see, I just know it! It’s good that Sunshine was able to inspire you this way. xoxox
That’s wonderful and inspiring news! I hope that when I have children I can be that example for them and not the, “don’t do what I did” kind.
I can’t wait to hear more about this book. 🙂
Great news! Congratulations. It is amazing how our kids can be the best catalyst for us to follow our own dreams.
@Conda – Yay! You are on a role, woman! Good work.
@Dru – Thanks! I hope it ends up there. I can’t wait, either.
@Robin & Liz – Thanks again for your amazing support through the whole querying process! I really don’t know that I could have done it without you two. I absolutely can’t wait until it’s your turn!
@Stina – Thanks!!!