Well, that was embarrassing. A couple of days ago as I was typing up my bedside notes, I accidentally published a blog entry I’d written in the middle of the night. Then Sir Google the Vigilant picked up the post before I could erase it. And now it’s out there forever, half-formed thoughts and clumsy midnight sentences and all, the draftiest possible first draft. It’s the perfectionistic writer’s equivalent of looking down to discover you’ve been walking around the mall in nothing more than torn underpants and a saggy bra. And then finding out someone put the security footage on YouTube and mailed links to all your friends and coworkers.
At any rate, it’s as fixed as it’s going to get. So without further ado or so much as a segue, and at the risk of sounding sleep-obsessed, I now present the new and improved version of my field guide to insomnia.
Mix and match as you see fit.
Aha! – Yay! Yay! I’m finally falling asleep! I’m…Oh. Never mind.
Alarmatory Anticipation – What’s the point? Alarm’s about to go off. Or the baby will wake up. Or, well, something.
Bing! – And like that, you’re awake. Really awake.
The Brain Spins – 3 a.m. may not be the ideal time to craft the perfect comeback (six hours too late), plot your novel, or list your to-dos, but good luck convincing your busy brain of that.
Comfort Void – Pillow by Acme Brick. Mattress by Stay Puft.
Fear & Trepidation – Shh! Did you hear that? (See also: Horror Novels, Late Night Reading of)
Prophetic Insomnolescence – I expect it, therefore I have it.
Sound Barrier – Too much noise – or, heck, too little – and sleep’s as elusive as a ghost.
Whee! – Anticipation and excitement are electric coursing through your body. Tomorrow (i.e. Christmas morning, your birthday, the first day of vacation) will be terrific. Tonight? Not so much.
Did I leave any out? Which ones get you?
Thanks, Susan! I did sleep better, though hubby took the baby monitor all night long which helped a LOT. Warm milk helps, too, but I haven’t tried a bath.
Lucky you, Jessica! What is your secret?
The Brain Spins for me. Or how about knowing that you really, really need to fall asleep because you have to get up early or have monstrous tasks to tackle in the AM, and the intense pressure of knowing that You Must Fall Asleep For Your Own Well Being makes it impossible to actually sleep.
Yes! I get that too! And the more you need to sleep the more impossible it becomes.
One more page. Just. One. More. Page.
Brain spins only. I can almost always sleep, but once in a while, I can’t turn my brain off. What caused the 1929 stock market crash? Who did I forget to call back today? Why do peanuts taste so horrible?! …and why do I need to think about it at 4 am? WHY?!
OOh I get the brain spins! And then I get anxious that I can’t sleep which makes me more anxious and increases my insomnia. LOL
Lois, I get that too! So hard to turn out the light when you’re hooked, isn’t it?
Katie, you crack me up! Yeah, why do our brains think that the middle of the night is the perfect time for such random thoughts?
Jennifer, that’s the worst, isn’t it? Knowing you have to sleep and then not being able to? That’s when I get the Aha! type of insomnia – I think I’ve finally managed to fall asleep, which wakes me back up again.
Oh my gosh I’m not the only one! Even these comments!!! When the little was wee little, I never understood why if he was so gosh darn tired, why couldn’t he just fall into this deeeeeeeeeeeeep sleep since his body so desperately needed it? Then I got overtired. And couldn’t for the life of me fall asleep. Light bulb kind of moment for me.
My husband has wondered for years now what my deal is. He told me I need an on/off switch for my brain.
Ya think?!
And don’t you think if I could put one in, I’d use it?!
My problem lately is definitely the anticipating. Well he’s just gonna wake up or my alarm’s just gonna go off here shortly, why THE HECK bother?
I want to be like the hubby. I need his magic head hit pillow…one…two…zzzz ability. So jealous.
I had a night two weeks ago. Got in bed (probably missed my window by an hour or so), tossed and turned for an hour and a half. Got up, played on the internet for another hour and a half until I felt tired. Tossed for half an hour because my eyes just sat in front of a computer screen, duh. Read a book in front of a night light for 15 minutes. Back in bed. About to fall asleep…baby wakes up. Nurse baby, spend 20 more minutes getting him back to sleep after. Back in bed, almost fall asleep, hubby starts snoring. Elbow hubby in kidney. Almost fall asleep, hear click on baby monitor, which does that startle thing to me that wakes me up even more than usual. TURN OFF THE DARN MONITOR. Toss for another 45 minutes. Finally fall asleep. Hubby’s alarm goes off. Which means I got a whopping 45 minutes of sleep. Convince myself that punching a hole in the wall won’t get me anywhere. Get probably five minutes of super light sleep in before he finally turns the snooze button off and gets ready. Get another five minutes of may as well NOT be sleep while he’s in the shower. He leaves for work. Alllllmost fall asleep. Baby wakes up for day.
Lots of dirty words because I’m am friggin’ tired and the day has pretty much started at 2 am.
I started to read a book for a few minutes before bed, and that has seemed to help (though I’m sure the bigger help has been baby sleeping through the night HOORAY!). I guess I need more of a wind down than I had been used to getting.
I know EXACTLY what you mean! I’ve been through a few nights like that this past year, and they’re not fun at all. In fact, that’s a big reason why I was inspired to write this post in the first place. So glad he’s finally sleeping through the night, though. That makes SUCH a difference!
This is why I need to keep my mouth shut when it comes to my baby and his sleep: THAT VERY NIGHT he decided to stop sleeping through. HE KNOWS when I tell people these things.
Prophetic Insomnolescence – I expect it, therefore I have it.
THIS. It’s seriously one of the most frustrating things ever. It’s like a never-ending cycle: don’t sleep well one night, worry about/expect it the next day, don’t sleep well again because of that … and it goes on and on.
Such is a writer’s life?