Extended metaphors make me itch. This means I could never write straight nonfiction, because the extended metaphor is the nonfictionist’s crack. Just look at early parenting books, and you’ll break out in red hot hives, too. Not since those two-in-the-morning if-you-were-a-shrub-what-type-would-you-be college discussions have I heard human beings so frequently compared to plant life. Babies, apparently, can be roses, sunflowers, even soybeans, based on a few cringingly flimsy criteria. And these metaphors do not last just a paragraph, but flourish and build for four hundred pages, twining from chapter to chapter, mixing freely with wholly unrelated metaphors, breeding at will. I could go on, but I see myself slipping from simple metaphor to extended, and I cannot let that happen, if only because of those hives.
That said, let me make just one (moderately) quick and almost metaphor-free comparison to something I haven’t even brought up yet. During my high school years I had a room of my own. ‘Had’ is an inadequate verb, really. I lived in my room, loved it, haunted it, possessed it. I made it mine. I misspent many math classes rearranging furniture in my mind, re-appropriating graph paper so I could sketch out a visual representation, then hurrying home after school to shove around my bed and night stand and bookshelves according to my not-to-scale scribbles. Then re-taping all my posters. Then rearranging my knickknacks.
Then doing it all again three weeks later.
Until my room had been subjected to intense interior redecoration, I could not do a single homework assignment. It was urgent and glaring, and never more necessary than when I had a big project due. I believe I told myself it helped me think.
I’ve outgrown a lot of my younger tendencies. I feel no need to draw comparisons between humans and horticulture, for example, and I never use graph paper. Graduation took care of most of the rest, including all the homework I once pushed heavy furniture around to avoid. But one thing prevailed: the urge to redecorate. Hence my new website. And this blog entry. Nothing like a good template switch-up to inspire a new post.
Well. You didn’t really think I could do a massive site redesign and not write about it, did you?
I really like the new ‘blog layout! Very ‘adult’. 🙂 It’s funny,but I doubt anyone will ever miss those college metaphor exercises that no one will ever truly understand.
Thanks, Katie! It was fun to pick out a new one. I saw you changed yours, too, and I love what you did with it! As for those college exercises, I think we’ve definitely outgrown them by now. Funny how interesting they were at the time, though.
Okay, I think I have a gravatar now. Sorry to take up space on your comments, but I want to see if it works! 😀
It works, and it’s very pretty! Just the sort of icon I guessed you would choose.
LOL, Caryn! You brought to mind pages and pages of GRE materials with your “twining” and “breeding” metaphors! 🙂 So glad to have you back in the blogosphere. Love the new design!!
Marilyn, I was thinking of those standardized tests, too! I think it’s because a bunch of high school students I know just took the ACT this weekend and were talking about it. And, yes, it’s great to be back in the blogosphere as more than just a reader/lurker.
So good to see you blogging!! 😉
Thanks! It’s nice to be blogging again. I didn’t realize how much I’d missed it until I started writing this. I have to make it a bigger priority.
Nice new dig! It has been lovely seeing you around the internet lately. But speaking of free time, how are plans for your baby’s first Christmas coming? 🙂
Thanks, Pam! It’s been great to be back to the blogging world again. I’ve enjoyed slowly catching up with people. As for Christmas, I’ll fill you in on email in a bit. 🙂
Hey Caryn,
Good to see you. I hope all is well.
It was great to catch up on your blog! Thanks for stopping by. 🙂
I like the new look! And I’m glad someone has finally called attention to those ridiculous metaphors that spiral out of control like Kudzu over the American South…like how I just did that?? 😉
LOL! A few small metaphors don’t drive me crazy at all. It’s those huge, extended ones that last for pages and pages. Ugh!
Love your new website!! 🙂 Looks amazing. Enjoy your baby girl.
Welcome back to the web, m’dear! I’m sure your little pumpkin has been keeping you busy. What? I couldn’t resist. =D
I love the new design you put up. Very chic and different!
Hi, Caryn! I’m so happy to see you blogging again! Love the new look!
Have a great weekend and Happy Halloween!
After checking in with your blog a few weeks ago to see if you had anything new, I chuckled when I read your comment on my blog. I was like, “Oh, thank God, it’s not just me who has gotten lost in the newborn world!”
There is SO much I could get done during nap time.
*IF* there were naps…(sigh)
Have a great weekend!