I bought a tub of cottage cheese the other day, which means my weight loss plan finally has a chance of working. I never would have made the connection, except the other night hubby and I were in a restaurant and, while I was trying to decide which delectably greasy item to order, guilt nudged me toward the “On the Lite Side”(sic) portion of the menu. You know, all that heart-healthy, tasteless crap they dish up just so they can say they cater to everyone. It was there that I saw the key to effortless weight loss. It’s a trick that all restaurants seem to know, yet women’s magazines still have not picked up on: eat cottage cheese. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, according to menus across the country, one scoop of cottage cheese is all you need in order to stay healthy and lose weight, no matter what accompanies those blessed curds. And the good news is, all restaurant diet plates come with it, so you’ll never be without this magic gut-shrinking agent. And to think, you’ve been lied to all this time: Dieting is not about the portion size, the fat content, or even those now-meaningless calories (or kilocalories for those sticklers out there).
Skeptical? Itching for more specific proof than “every restaurant’s doing it”? Fine, then. Just witness this listing under the diet section of the restaurant menu mentioned above: ½ lb. ground top sirloin with a side of peaches and cottage cheese. And, no, I swear to you I’m not making this up. In fact, I just called the restaurant to verify, in case it was actually supposed to read “Mixed salad greens tossed in a light vinaigrette dressing, accompanied by a side of steamed broccoli and a dish of low fat cottage cheese”.
Since all evidence points to syrupy canned peaches, and we all know a whopping ½ lb. serving of beef doesn’t fit into traditional heart-healthy parameters, it must be the cottage cheese that makes this dinner choice “lite”. Which is the reason I had no worries about the contents of my plate at a family barbeque I attended on Saturday. All I had to do was add a spoonful of the miraculous side dish, and I could eat whatever I wanted. In fact, when I weighed myself that night, I had actually lost weight. It’s a miracle.
My kind of diet: Cheeseburger, baked beans, brownie and, of course, cottage cheese (which makes it all good for me).
Caryn:
My favorite part of the picture is your precisely placed items that are well out of reach of one another! That’s my kind of plate!
All the protein on the plate dehydrated you. Drink a glass of water, and the weight will return. Hahahaha! Can I have two of those brownies? Please?
YES!! Finally, the missing link we’ve been waiting for! (I’m trying it) 🙂
Yuck. Even the mention of cottage cheese is enough to put me off my food — so in that way I suppose it might be a miracle diet solution!
I love cottage cheese. This gives me a reason to buy it more often!
However, when I get to go out to a restaurant all diet restrictions go out the window. I want it as rich, fatty, and unhealthy as I can have it! It’s a good thing I only go out to eat a few times a year.
Caryn, about your comment on my last post. WordPress is supposed to have a related post widget add on. I think it’s a good idea to have the extra incentive for readers to read more.
Have a great day!
LOL, Caryn! It should be so easy. 🙂 Are there guidelines to the amount of cottage cheese consumed on a daily basis?
Now I’m really hungry for some baked beans, cheeseburgers and watermelon. This is why I love spring, cook outs are possible!
However, I cannot eat cottage cheese because… well, I just can’t. Something seems deeply wrong with it. I’m glad it helped you lose a few pounds like you wanted though!
LOL, Caryn! I think you may be on to something… I bought a 16oz. pkg. of fat-free cottage cheese last week and, omg, I checked the expiration date 3x to see if, maybe, it was past due and, thus, the horrid taste might be reasonably explained… I didn’t seem to notice the problem once in was in the mixed in the middle of my 3 cheese, spiced meat lasagna, however. Perhaps to get the full weight-loss effect, it needs to be eaten individually? 🙂
ROFLOL. Who knew it was that easy? What about just the brownie and cottage cheese? I should be model-thin with just that, right? 😉
i’ve never been able to get past the LOOK of cottage cheese. 🙂