Everything I know about house cleaning could fit in a small mop bucket. Not that I own one, but I’ve seen them, so I have a general sense of the dimensions.
1. Host everything. Sometimes a little incentive’s necessary, which is why an impending audience is handy for motivating the terminally messy to pick up the pace and get the place clean.
2. Tackle the bathroom first. Nothing says I need a good scrubbing like toothpaste bits and water spots on the mirror. Plus it’s the easiest room in the house to sparklefy, especially if you employ the shower curtain in the manner in which it was intended: to hide a bathtub rim cluttered with shampoos, soaps, razors, and three types of conditioner.
3. Marry well. My husband is more sensitive to mess than I am, which means that he’s more than willing to pitch in and shovel out the clutter whenever necessary. His latest project? Mucking out both of our sheds. I came out one evening last week to find him vacuuming the rafters in the carport shed. When he noticed me watching him in astonishment, he cheerfully pointed out that he had “vacuumed up enough spider silk to make a blouse”. Although I kindly turned down his offer, I can see how cleaning can have other advantages I haven’t yet foreseen.
4. Squirt, leave, return. Household chemicals work so much better when left to settle for a while. A toilet bowl soaked in bleach-infused cleanser for an hour doesn’t even require a good scrubbing — a flush will do. Plus the lovely chemical smell adds to the illusion of a germ-free environment.
5. Mess is obvious; cleanliness is not. No one notices a nice, neat house. It’s not fair. Get used to it.
6. Learn how to apologize for the mess. I’ve honed this one to a fine art, asking people to excuse the mess, even if I’ve spent the last three hours tidying and the visitor in question is selling something and therefore won’t make it through the half-closed front door.
7. Hire someone. If only! Still, one can dream.
As I said — a small mop bucket of info. Other suggestions for the cleaning-impaired?
#7!!!!– someday . . .
You’re so funny. I frequently use #1 so I have no choice but to clean.
#4 is one I use a lot too.
I need #3.
LOL! I thought I was the ONLY person to do the “host everything” bit.
E
@Dru — So true! Plus baking cookies make your house smell good! They’re a natural deodorizer.
@Alyson — No kidding!
@Stacy & Erica — It does help, doesn’t it? As long as the visitors don’t leave it messier afterward than it was before! I’m lucky and have nice friends who don’t trash the place. One of the benefits of getting older, I think. 🙂
Number One works like a charm for me too! And you’ve married very well! Vacuuming the rafter beams is amazing.
Hey Caryn, I see we use many of the same “special effects.” LOL. I love candles too, since they give the illusion of baking and a clean house. Also, the grandkids are great clutter locaters since they love crawling in closets and hidey holes. They leave a path to areas I need to focus on.
Ohhh, LOL about marrying well! I didn’t even know this was one of my hubby’s wonderful traits until I realized one day that I hadn’t dusted in a decade! I HATE dusting and–while he seems averse to doing dishes, um, ever–he will happily attack bookshelves and other dust-covered surfaces with surprising enthusiasm. 🙂
I do host everything. Theory being that by the time all the bodies roll in, the house will be so full no one notices a mess. 🙂
Ha! #1 is one of the biggest tricks at my place! When we know someone is going to be coming over we can get the house cleaned in under an hour. We hustle. But otherwise, we’re quite content to clean on an as needed basis. Our house is clean just not always organized. Lol.
My other tip would be to divide and conquer. I have Andy do the dishes, Jas picks up laundry and puts it in baskets, while I organize and put things away.
I have come to accept that I am a writer and all of my free time (or most of it, anyway) is devoted to that craft or other things that make me happy. The house can and will suffer for it. The hubs, also a writer, is on board with the philosophy.
But, when we do clean or need to have people over (ex: in-laws for Thanksgiving), we clean and then think of who else we can invite over while the house is in its unnatural state–clean.