Everything I know about house cleaning could fit in a small mop bucket. Not that I own one, but I’ve seen them, so I have a general sense of the dimensions.
1. Host everything. Sometimes a little incentive’s necessary, which is why an impending audience is handy for motivating the terminally messy to pick up the pace and get the place clean.
2. Tackle the bathroom first. Nothing says I need a good scrubbing like toothpaste bits and water spots on the mirror. Plus it’s the easiest room in the house to sparklefy, especially if you employ the shower curtain in the manner in which it was intended: to hide a bathtub rim cluttered with shampoos, soaps, razors, and three types of conditioner.
3. Marry well. My husband is more sensitive to mess than I am, which means that he’s more than willing to pitch in and shovel out the clutter whenever necessary. His latest project? Mucking out both of our sheds. I came out one evening last week to find him vacuuming the rafters in the carport shed. When he noticed me watching him in astonishment, he cheerfully pointed out that he had “vacuumed up enough spider silk to make a blouse”. Although I kindly turned down his offer, I can see how cleaning can have other advantages I haven’t yet foreseen.
4. Squirt, leave, return. Household chemicals work so much better when left to settle for a while. A toilet bowl soaked in bleach-infused cleanser for an hour doesn’t even require a good scrubbing — a flush will do. Plus the lovely chemical smell adds to the illusion of a germ-free environment.
5. Mess is obvious; cleanliness is not. No one notices a nice, neat house. It’s not fair. Get used to it.
6. Learn how to apologize for the mess. I’ve honed this one to a fine art, asking people to excuse the mess, even if I’ve spent the last three hours tidying and the visitor in question is selling something and therefore won’t make it through the half-closed front door.
7. Hire someone. If only! Still, one can dream.
As I said — a small mop bucket of info. Other suggestions for the cleaning-impaired?
Fluff the couch pillows and put a smell-good envelope in your vacuum cleaner bag and vacuum moments before someone will walk in the door – it will seem like you’ve been cleaning all day.
Nice suggestions! I like the “host everything” one the best 🙂
Some say that marrying well involves a royal title, or at least money, but I am sooooo with you. Marry someone who cleans better than you do, and you’re set for life.
Some might consider it a problem when her husband is considered the messiest in his office, but me? No way! (And probably you too.) He’s still way neater than me, so win-win!
Mrs. Lemon, that sounds like something I think I saw in a movie once, where the character said that she always puts in toast before someone comes over, because she thinks that toast smells so homey.
Thanks PJ! I discovered the hosting bit when I was still in college. I volunteered to have every study group, gathering, etc. at my place — as long as it wasn’t going to leave it any messier than it was to begin with! Which meant no huge parties.
LOL, Jenifer! So true. Only problem is, I do feel guilty sometimes about being messy. Ah, well.
I totally do #4, plus I married well! I try not to feel guilty, because I bake and cook extra stuff for my cutie as a preventive measure!
Love this. 🙂
I seriously thought about #7, but my skinny wallet always had this way of convincing me otherwise. Oh well. 🙁
I’ll clean when the spirit moves me, but here’s a great way to make your house look spic and span: visit someone whose home looks like the local landfill. When you return home all the dust bunnies miraculously disappear.
Mari, I totally think good baking skills can make up for any lack of housecleaning. But then, I’m a sucker for delicious baking. 🙂
Thanks, Keri!
Marcia, we’ve done this in the past, but it’s hard to keep people, and once the last ones quit, oh, ages ago, we just haven’t made the money a priority, and I don’t know when or if we’ll be able to do that again. I do miss it, though.
LOL! So true, Kath!
I like the idea of #7, but lack of funds will do that and besides I only need them to do the rooms I hate the most, the bathroom and kitchen as well as the windows.
Baking chocolate chip cookies will have people concentrating on the baked goods than how your place looks.