Dear Friend / Employer / Charity / Business Acquaintance / Neighbor,
I regret to inform you that the answer to your recent request is a firm and resounding NO. I do understand the position that you are in, and that you would appreciate my: help with the move / coming in on my day off / making a generous donation / becoming a dues-paying member of your newly established professional group / walking your dog five times a day while you’re on vacation. However, due to a recently expanded work load in my personal and professional lives, as of this morning I have committed to saying NO to every request and offer, and you have the distinct honor of receiving this message first. Congratulations.
Please understand that this was a difficult decision, and one about which I deliberated for quite some time, but I find I must be consistent in my refusal, lest hurt feelings and resentment ensue. As this is a new program, it is subject to change at any time, so you may wish to renew your application in the future.
Once again, I appreciate the importance of your request and am honored that you thought of me. If you have any questions, feel free to contact me in the same manner in which you have done so previously.
With regrets,
Caryn
a.k.a. The Chronic Yes-Woman
P.S. Hey, that was a good attempt, wasn’t it? I almost had you going! Anyway, for those who want my help, I’ll be over next Saturday — say, around eightish? Who needs to sleep in on the weekend, anyway? For all others, the check is in the mail. I should warn you, though, that next time I really will say no. I’m not kidding. Meanwhile, thanks for the chance to practice my rejection technique. I realize it needs a little work on the follow-through, but I think I’m onto something here.
P.P.S. I’m serious here. Next time, the answer is NO. Really. I promise.
Hilarious! I used to be a yes-woman, but not any more! Since I started writing, saying no has never been easier 😉
I’m with Keri–I want to borrow your letter, make lots and lots of copies, laminate one of them and tape it to the front door, then preemptively pass sheets out to random strangers who LOOK like they’re going to ask me to do something…
Hahaha, you’re great. I have a really hard time saying no, too.
I have a problem with not being able to say no as well.
In this way, I’m just like you. So I spend a lot of time screening my calls. 🙂
Very well written!
Now with that said, I’ve had this craving lately, so please bake me a pie – apple with little crumblies on top, preferably – and overnight FedEx to me. I’ll email you my address. Thanks a bunch, you’re the best, I owe you big time, etc etc etc.!
Brilliant!
I love the idea of a standard rejection for all the annoying/expensive/time-consuming/boring requests of life. Which always multiply whenever you have too much on already. And though I’m much better than I used to be, I sometimes still give in and say ‘yes’ when I would have preferred to say ‘no’ – just one of many reasons I dream of having a personal secretary. Who would need to double as something else. I mean. I’m not THAT popular and busy. 😉
I need one of these. With checkboxes so I don’t have any excuse to wimp out and can be as precise as possible about what I’m saying no to!
I have a friend who swears that the answer is to post the word NO in giant letters right next to the telephone…and then, when you’re fumbling around thinking you might crumble and agree to help somebody move, come in on Saturdays, work late, walk their dog, there it is, inspiring you and reminding you of your one true goal: NOT TO DO IT. (I’m still hopeless at it–unless I’m being terrorized by a deadline, and then it’s easy. Say, maybe that’s why I never seem to finish this book!) GREAT post!
Great letter, Caryn! And hey, I’ve noticed that when I’ve practiced saying “no” I’ve gotten better at actually doing it. A wonderful book that helped me was “When I say no, I feel guilty” by somebody.Helps when you’ve said no a million times and the person is like, “okay, see you at 4 a.m. to take me to the airport because you only live an hour and a half away from me.”
My favorite saying on this topic: “What is it about NO you don’t understand?”