It seems I am in A Phase. Over the weekend I waved a cheerful goodbye to two unfinished novels, then dropped them off my nightstand. The week before that, I got twenty-three pages into another before dumping it onto my library donations pile without so much as an apology. This morning I broke up with a fourth, a best-seller with reviews that swore there was no way I would not love this book. After forty-eight pages I gave up and searched my pile of unread books for yet another victim.
Most of the time I go through books the way I would eat chocolates if my hips allowed it. I finish one and delve immediately into the next, savoring the characters, the plot, the clever turns of phrase. Each time I exercise or clean house or push a squeaky-wheeled cart up and down the grocery store aisles, I plug into an audio book, letting stories wash over me. When hubs and I take our canvas chairs to a nearby overlook to watch the sun set over the desert, we often tote along something to read aloud to one another.
But I cannot, no matter how much I try, completely lose myself in reading while I am in the middle of revisions. Once I spend hours analyzing each sentence of my own work, the picky part of my brain is turned on. From then on, every bit of writing I encounter, whether it is mine or someone else’s, is routed through my editing filter.
That is happening now. The obligatory six weeks have passed between the draft I wrote this summer and the edits required to start submitting it. Now, after several days spent performing major surgery on my novel at every opportunity, my brain has once again turned into an Equal Opportunity Editor, and I’ve gone from eager-to-read to impossible-to-please. The quality of my reading does not matter. If I am spending hours each day examining my own writing, then by habit I will analyze every other sentence to waltz my way as well. Only blogs, it seems, are exempt, perhaps because the style is so different.
My inability to switch off the ruthless reviser inside me is exhausting and inevitable, and totally unfair to the author of whatever pleasure reading I attempt. Worse, my inability to relax with a good book feels unnatural and somehow very wrong. Reading, after all, is what led me into writing, and now writing is preventing me from enjoying reading.
I’ve gone through this before, and I know that it will end. Within days of finishing edits, I will be able to see an adverb without feeling the impulse to ink it out. I will once again have the patience to read backstory — it is, after all, sometimes necessary. I will not automatically pause after I read each line of dialogue, wondering if it should be reworded to make it sound more authentic. I will, in short, be able to lose myself in a book again, which is the best possible incentive for finishing revisions. I’m already saving several books I know I will love for after edits, as a reward.
The second best incentive, for the record, is getting to begin a new story. My next book has already begun to evolve in my mind, and I cannot think of it without a little zing of excitement. But first, revisions.
Thanks, Virginia and Robin! I so hope that the revisions continue to go quickly so that I can once again enjoy my favorite pastime.
P. J. I’d be curious to hear if you have the same problem once you begin your experiment. As for the quality of the book, even when I can read and enjoy it I still don’t get as much out of it as I might otherwise.
Alyson, writing hasn’t been a problem for some reason, although I’ve heard lots of writers say that it is. But revisions? Always.
Oh, Marilyn, I would *love* to look at it that way! Yes, maybe I will choose that viewpoint, even if I think it’s just that my brain isn’t very flexible when I’ve been concentrating too hard on something.
So I’m not the only one, Mary? Good to know!
I wonder what would happen if you tried watching a movie? Would your editor side take over there too? Just curious. May you finish your edits soon and get back to being your normal book lady self!
I know just what you mean. The very same thing happens to me…and you explained it so beautifully. And how exciting that a new book is coming through for you! I do love that phase! If your fiction is anything like your blog, I can’t wait to read it. You’re going to be rich and famous someday.
I wish I could say the same but sadly my reading material has just been dull as of late. *sigh*
Hope revising goes well for you and can’t wait to hear about your new story idea should you choose share details about it with us.
lol. Oh, I can so relate to your post – it made me laugh. And I totally agree, the best part is when you get to start writing that new, next novel.
Gail 🙂
Eeek. I’m so glad you’re saving my book until the ruthless reviser has gone back into its slumber! Seriously, though, I agree. It is so hard to turn off sometimes. I find audio works though. When you can’t see the words on the page, its easier to just get caught up in the story!
Ditto, Caryn. I indulge in binge reading OR binge writing, never the two at once, and it does get tiresome.
Like Alyson, I find avoiding the genre I write in helps…sometimes.
Gah. I’m in the middle of revisions as well. A special level of hell for me. Good luck with yours.
good luck with your revisions!
you say blogs are excluded? thank goodness. how else could you get through my ramblings? 😉
So funny, Barrie! As this comment was posted, I was actually in the middle of watching a movie! Thank God it’s not affected. In fact, I just reenlisted for Netflix because I must have my stories in some form or another.
Sandi, I think it’s probably my favorite phase, that time when lines and characters are coming to you but before you’ve started actually committing anything to the computer. It seems like anything’s possible.
Soleil, I hate that. Sometimes if I read many fantastic books in a row then I just can’t seem to find something else that appeals to me for a while.
Gail, isn’t it a glorious time? I can’t wait to just devote all my energy to it instead of splitting it.
LOL, Joanne! Check your email. 😉
Lainey, I wish that were the case. Alas, my internal editor seems to be into equal opportunity critiquing. It’s very opinionated, and once I let it out of its box it doesn’t like to be put back in for anything.
You too, Eileen! May they be quick and painless as, well, it’s possible for revisions to be.
Thanks, Emily! And, yes, blogs are excluded, as are movies. At least the revisions gods have shown *some* mercy.