I live in a tourist town, which means that in certain seasons we are overrun by camera-toting sightseers intent on packing in as much adventure as their credit cards and cranky kids will allow. From early spring to late fall work hours increase as many businesses close later, grocery stores morph into scary places filled with clots of vacationers and their cockeyed carts, and our favorite restaurants are inundated by sun-stunned visitors escaping the heat. Shortly thereafter I begin to have nightmares in which our house is taken over by unwelcome tourists who feel that we are unreasonable for not letting them wash their Hummers in our backyard.
Whenever possible during these crazy months, hubs and I escape our personal half-acre of paradise to take pictures of other wonders and spend time with someone else’s tourists for a while. Although the scenery’s different, many of the tourists look exactly the same, as we’ve discovered by traveling widely. This year it will be California. Last year it was South Carolina. In August. In record heat.
After growing up in a Midwestern city that attracted many businesses and college students but nary a tourist, living in a place like this has been an experience. When your daily life is someone else’s vacation, you learn a lot. For example, I’ve learned when to visit the grocery store, which streets and restaurants to avoid and, most importantly, how to dress like a local. The last skill has netted me requests for directions in several neighboring states, Philadelphia, Boston, and Madrid. It may not be handy if you don’t know your way around the town you’re visiting, but it can help you avoid getting scammed by people who take advantage of clueless travelers, and it can net you better service in restaurants, bars, and grocery stores.
Giving the appearance that you’re at home isn’t that difficult. The number one rule is: Avoid wearing fanny packs. Locals and attentive tourists alike have beheld the horrors of such adornments in large concentrations, and so they do not use them. This is not to say that fanny packs don’t have their perks; if your butt is too flat, for example, they provide the illusion of bulk. Since I’ll never have that problem, I eschew them altogether. Rule number two: Be nice to wait staff and other service people. Also, drive like you have at least a passing familiarity with traffic laws. Walk with confidence, even if you don’t know where you’re going, and learn to look but not gawk. And finally, for the love of God, do not take video footage of buildings, mountains, trees, or other unmoving objects.
See? It’s not too tough. For bonus points, don’t use a local’s garden hose to wash your car without their permission. They don’t like that sort of thing.
Brittany, I LOVE Savannah! And, yes, I’ve been a tourist there several times. In fact, that city has the distinction of being the friendliest city I’ve ever visited.
Platelets! Great word choice, Katie. And, yeah, I wish that groups would just designate one or two shoppers instead of everyone feeling like they have to go. It’s insane.
Oh, Amy, so you had more than enough of that growing up, too! Actually, whenever tourists do stupid things here, like riding in ATVs without helmets or swimming without life jackets, several people I know just throw up their hands in disgust and say, “What were they thinking?!? This isn’t Disneyland, you know!”
Oh, good, Marilyn! You should be proud. 😉
I live on the cusp of SoHo, Little Italy and Chinatown in NY. It is tourist central. Sometimes I’d like to look more like a tourist. When you look like a local (which i do becuase of Benny’s stroller and lots of grocery bags!) you constantly get asked, “Where is the Empire State Building? Can I walk?”
You’re coming to my town, Caryn! I rigorously avoid the tourist areas of SF, but we live on the route of the occasional tour bus. I like to wave at the tourists on the bus. Yes! We are examples of Local People.
Hey, dude, ping me when you’re in town, if you have a free moment.
No videos of inanimate objects??!!?? All these years I’ve been taking videos of buildings, rocks and mountains and still shots of trains, planes, and the ocean tide. This may be what I’m doing wrong. I’m sadly distressed.
LOL about the fanny pack! Too funny! I laughed so hard I had to hold my stomach, haha! (funny and so true!)
I live in Louisville KY, so I can relate a little to the tourist thing, once a year for two weeks we are invaded with tourists from all over the world for the KY Derby. I am glad it is only a few weeks and not a whole season!
Although functional- the fanny pack is rarely a good look for anyone.
i think we should just do away with the fanny pack altogether. like eileen says, it’s not a good look. in fact, it’s horrible.
Personal I ride a Pink banana seat bike around town, so that I blend in.
Joanne, I can see that! Tourists expect locals to know the strangest things, too, and it’s sometimes like I’m a walking tour guide — only without the financial compensation. Though living on the fringes of Little Italy may be worth it!
C.B., check your email!
LOL, Sherry! Just a tip for San. Fran.: The Golden Gate Bridge qualifies as a nonmoving object unless you want to capture the movement of the cars. 😉
Glad you liked it, SuRi! And, yeah, I bet you get your share of fanny packs during that time! I love your area of the world, though. Used to spend a lot of long weekends there when I was growing up. It’s beautiful!
So true, Eileen. So true.
Emily, I think that would be a great idea. Surely there must be other, more attractive and equally useful options.
Christa, dear, you could never blend in, and you like it that way. 😉
Hey you are coming out my way! We should do lunch!