For the past week our neighborhood watch program has included a cluster of eight to ten turkey vultures in mid-migration. They hunch in the topmost branches of nearby cottonwood trees, surveying the streets and, I assume, tallying all the cats and small dogs in the area. Every hour or two they fling themselves from the still-bare branches, circle in the air for a time, and then choose another perch a block or two from the previous one, where they then rest, as still and studious as understudies for the role of gargoyle on a French cathedral.
I first saw them last week as I raked my garden patch before planting this year’s set of sugar snap peas. At the time they were circling ominously over the next block of houses, apparently waiting for something to die. Now they lie in wait in our next-to-next-door neighbor’s cottonwood, forty feet in the air, facing our house. If they didn’t portend death and destruction, I’d enjoy how seriously they take themselves, all the while looking like giants at a tea party, over-sized and out-of-place on the thin, bent branches on which they’ve chosen to balance.
Instead, I’m becoming nervous. You see, this has been quite the week, and a wake of buzzards* watching over my vicinity does not help. I’m certain that they know these last few days have weakened me and are just waiting for me to keel over and provide their next meal. Indeed, by Wednesday I felt as if I’d been hit by a truck and left for the predators. By Thursday I almost envied that fate. Late yesterday afternoon I slogged in the door, arms full of work I’d dragged home from the office, and immediately collapsed on the living room couch, hoping the vultures wouldn’t think I’d finally bought the farm and come for the celebratory feast. The first half of next week is looking like more of the same. I know they’re not killers and a human is some pretty big prey, but I’m afraid to sleep now, lest they misinterpret my actions as death and I become buzzard food.
In other news, a few days ago I did manage to stomp this spider in its first encore performance in over two months, so there is that. And, no, there’s no proof that this is the very same one that terrorized me lo these many months ago, but this is what I choose to believe, so speculation and actual facts are not necessary. This, by the way, is a different incident from the one in the previous post. (In addition to attracting vultures, tourists, and yippy dogs, our town is a haven for spiders of all stripes and sizes. It’s truly delightful — if you happen to be an entomologist.) No, in fact, my cats wouldn’t touch the one I killed, even after it was dead.
The vultures might, though. If things get really bad next week, maybe I’ll find the spider’s body in the trash and toss it outside to distract them while I limp away in the opposite direction. That may give me a little time to recover. Seeing as they know where I live, sticking around here may not be the best of plans.
*Yes, a flock of buzzards is really called a “wake”. I loves that oh, so very much.
This reminds me of the movie, The Birds. Every time I watch the movie, the next day there’s a flock of crows in the playground watching my every move.
Those birds give me the willies! And yes, they do make you paranoid. Making me very glad we don’t see any where I live now AND that we own a BB gun. *g*
I hope your week improves!
I can’t help but hear the word vultures, or even see the beasts, and I think of the Jungle Book. “Whaddayawannado?” “I dunno. Whaddayawannado?”
I confess to finding birds of prey very interesting, I might feel differently, however, if I was having a “feek and weeble” moment! 😉
Hope the coming week is a good and healthy and strong one!
Not to fear on the buzzards. Their feet are too weak to even pick up a mouse. They require carrion and will settle for nothing else…they are not good “killers”. If they aren’t finding enough dead things to eat, they’ll move on. If they don’t move on, then they are finding plenty of dead things to eat…which is actually a good thing…that they clean up for you.
My neighborhood has things that cats and wee doggies need to fear…namely large hawks, owls and eagles. Our buzzards and crows content themselves with the many dead squirrels, rabbits, opossums and occasional goose or duck that fail to win the dodge-car game.
those birds totally freak me out! run! save yourself!! 🙂 hope the spider-as-decoy plan goes well!
LOL, Dru! Scary movies do that sort of thing to me all the time! It’s probably why I watch so few of them.
Thanks, Bookmom! Hope you have a good week ahead of you, too. 🙂
Absolute Vanilla, believe me, after a busy week where you feel like you’re about to drop dead, an ever-vigilant flock of vultures circling your house would make you a little paranoid, too. 😉 The rest of the time, though, I’m with you — birds are fascinating.
J.L., that’s my only consolation! I’m just hoping they don’t mistake my post-stress sleep-of-the-dead for actual death and come to pick me apart! It’s just weird because I’ve never, ever seen them in our neighborhood before, and now that they’ve shown up they don’t seem to want to leave. Though I admit they’re fascinating to watch.
LOL, Virginia! The spider’s so huge, I’m sure I’ll have no problem finding its corpse again should I need it.
I fear that the spider was the only thing keeping the vultures at bay. There are magic spells that might help…be safe.
Hi, Caryn. I think you are getting the overflow from OUR ‘wake’ of vultures. About 50-60 roost in the trees at the end of our block every year, and this year is no exception. They come every night just at twilight, and spread their wings for a few minutes to dry them before going to sleep. I always worry about the neighborhood cats and dogs, too, but I think for a buzzard to bother you, you have to be dead. 🙂
Hey Caryn~ Don’t you even think about letting those vultures rattle you! Easy for me to say, huh? I’m picturing them and thinking maybe you need to write a romantic suspense and include them somehow? I was attacked by a bird once. Yep. In seventh grade while walking to school. It was a crow/black bird and I’d walked past it’s nest. I still cringe thinking about it beaking me. I ran so fast to get away, but I tell ya, I’m still nervous whenever I’m out walking or running and see those darn birds.
I hope this ends up being a better week for you! LOL at the spider. They don’t bother me, but my fifteen-year-old is deathly afraid of them.
Ooh, magic. Have any spells you would recommend. Do tell, Allan. Please?
That makes sense. We never see them here, although I was attributing that to a late spring, and thinking that the lack of leaves on the trees makes them more obvious.
Robin, “beak” makes a great verb! And I can totally picture that. No wonder you’re terrified of them. Some people were attacked by dogs when they were kids. You got attacked by…a bird. Oh, and spiders don’t usually bother me either, but you should see this one. It was HUGE. Gave me the willies.