I sense a bout of self-improvement coming on. All the signs are there: Yesterday I parked my car downtown and walked to my errands, despite the cold. The day before, I chose salad for lunch. And today I shopped for new and exciting toiletries (e.g. a scary, unknown brand of mascara). Yup. I’m about to embark on a self-improvement binge.
This sounds like a good thing but, like ice cream in my freezer, it never lasts. Soon the soup cans will appear on my dresser, standing in as free weights for a nightly twelve-minute toning routine. I’ll vow to straighten the living room and put away clean dishes every single night, and actually intend to keep the promise — will find it easy to keep, in fact. For a few weeks I may even get really crazy and do my laundry before the basket overflows, though that would be pushing it.
It will probably culminate, as it usually does, in my buying a do-it-yourself Clairol kit and dyeing my hair auburn. Thank God so far I’ve had the good sense to use a 28-day dye each time, though it still obliterates my hard-earned natural highlights.
The biggest sign of reckless self-improvement would be easy to miss. I nearly did. But here it is: Today I bought makeup. The last time I so thoroughly replenished my supply, every store was ad-splashing the 2003 Back-to-School specials, and Hubbs and I were getting ready to take the big marriage plunge.
I brought my goodies home and dumped the plastic pharmacy bag on the kitchen counter, along with groceries and the video I picked up on my way to the library. Even now the sack of unopened cosmetics sits, hunched, in the darkened kitchen, its menacing presence hidden but still on my mind as I wonder if these colors will finally work the magic I’ve been wishing for. Will they make it worth my while to wake up early? Or, like their predecessors, will they make about a 1% difference, not enough to compensate for shut-eye lost? I’m voting for the latter and hoping for the former.
To complement my new beauty routine, I’m even thinking about dieting. And I know it’ll work for me, because I plan to use the same trick every successful dieter uses: I have a scheduled start date. Everyone knows that setting the date is half the battle. Yesterday I planned to start today but, well, that didn’t work out. I had leftover chocolate pie in the fridge, and it’s never a good idea to start a diet with that sort of disadvantage. Plus, I hate to see good breakfast food go to waste. So today I did my duty and polished off the pie. Took one for the team, if you will. I’ll start my diet tomorrow for certain.
Or, on second thought, maybe the next day. Tomorrow’s not good for me.
No matter what, though, I plan to keep flossing and taking my vitamins. Nothing can stop me now. I’m on a self-improvement roll.
Hilarious! Please keep us updated on your self-improvement regimen. And how long it lasts. (tee hee)
Thanks, Barrie! Actually, I should probably just do an update post at some point, seeing how I never told anyone about what happened (or didn’t) with the giant wolf spider on the loose in our living room, the chosen title for my WIP, and myriad other topics I brought up and just dropped. But what’s the fun in giving updates, when I can just whine about a whole, new, as-yet-unblogged-about topic?
Best of luck rolling!
Good luck. The start date is the key. Of course my start dates kept getting pushed forward until my health crisis lent a hand. I’m doing okay with my eating healthy. But right before I started eating healthy, I did the same thing you did…ate all the good food because it just couldn’t be wasted.
ooh, is there an update to the spider wolf episode?
Hilarious post and one that I’m sure every woman can relate to. Thanks for the laugh and good luck with your self-improvement. 🙂
Thanks, David!
Dru, I admire you for eating so well. As for updates to the spider, there are none. I never did find the dang thing. And believe me I think about it a *lot*, especially when I’m in the room where it disappeared. I wasn’t happy to see it, but I’d give a lot to see it right now, just so I know where it is and can take care of it.
Thanks, Brenda! We’ll see how long it lasts.
If it works — when it works, I should say — will you pay home visits and help motivate the rest of us?
Good luck!
I’m sorry, did you say chocolate pie in the fridge? 😉
Just stopping by to say hi, thanks for leaving your mark on my blog. I, too, troll Joshilyn’s comments and follow the trail to new and interesting tidbits.
So good luck with all that “improvement” biz, you can leave your extra chocolate at my door!
pie for breakfast. that’s my kind of day!
Those self-improvement kicks can be dangerous, especially when it involves makeup. 😉 What’s really dangerous is if you get into that mode and hit a Sephora store. :-O