In a far-away land many years prior to this, a statement such as, “My dear, I fear we must soon secure the windows with tapestries, as a storm approacheth” would mean something along the lines of, “Even though I’m a king, I myself will go close that window because my knees hurt and I think it’s about to rain”. Ah, yes. The ‘We’ that means ‘Me’. You may know this as the Royal We. Then there’s the ‘We’ that means ‘You’, as you (we?) will soon see.
Let’s conduct a short quiz. A statement such as “Honey, I think we should close the window because the weatherman said we’re expecting a storm” may best imply which of the following:
a) “Don’t worry about it. Since it was my suggestion, I’ll get out of bed and close the window myself.”
b) “We can do it together! It’ll be so much fun, and a wonderful bonding experience. Afterward, we can brush each other’s teeth. I can’t wait!”
c) “You should do it, because you’re closer to the window and, frankly, I’m comfortable and don’t feel like getting out of bed, but it sounds selfish to say, ‘My dearest love, you should close the window’.”
d) “Aw, forget it. One of the cats’ll get it if it starts to rain. They hate water.”
If you guessed c, you were, of course, correct. And you’re probably married, too, or have otherwise participated in a variation of the Married We on occasion. If you guessed a, you’re sweet and naive, and I find it cute. If you chose b, I think you should know that your expectations in a marriage are a little unrealistic and not a tiny bit disturbing. And if d was your answer of choice, well, you need a therapist, STAT. You know the cats are too comfortable to get up, even to make their own tea or hunt for the remote, so they certainly won’t close your window for you.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, unlike the Royal We, the Married We is the ‘we’ that means ‘you’. But don’t let the double meaning, which is on par with beloved phrases such as “I’m not mad, you stupid lug nut.” and “Please, my grape, tell me your feelings.” get you down. Now you have many exciting ways to tell your spouse to do something without sounding the least bit selfish. Use it wisely.
In the meantime, I think it’s time for us to take out the trash. Honey! Can you hear me? The trash is overflowing, and we need to empty it!
I hadn’t see this post before. so, thank you for reposting. and it’s how marriage works in my house!
LOL! I will not let my DH see this. He will recognize “us” as in “we” too much!!!
E
Great post and I can certainly relate.
hahaha – OMG. I do that all the time. I am such a selfish bastard. “We need to take the Christmas tree down.” “We need to clean the bathroom.” “We need to pull the shades.” Very funny.
so true. i do that waaay more than my husband though. 😉
Barrie, I’m not surprised–I think it’s just something that couples fall into.
Erica, it was actually a conversation with my own hubby that inspired this one. I shouldn’t have shared it with him, though, because he wouldn’t have noticed if I hadn’t pointed it out.
Thanks, Robin!
Rebecca & Emily, I think I do it way more than my own husband, too.
Ha! I know this royal married we alllllll too well.
The post is new to me and very inspired! Do “We” read the blog to take the hint? 😉
Whoops, I’m guilty of using ‘we’ when I mean my husband – as in ‘we’ve just redecorated the front room’ or ‘do you think we should weed the front?’ LOL! I feel bad now!!
LOL! Brilliant post, particularly for those of us all to familiar with the infamous “we”. Of course, I like to think I adopt a marginally more cunning approach, I leave off the we… “Gosh, sweetie, the trash is just about overflowing”, or, “Have you seen all the leaves in the pool?”. If one can do the looks and intonations, one can get away with minimal words and all without feeling guilty of me telling him aka “we” what to do 😉