I’m not easily creeped out by bugs or rodents. Cockroaches rarely give me the heebie-jeebies, and the willies generally avoid me unless the spider is especially large. Sightings of mice bring on nary a shiver — I think they’re cute. And bats? No big whoop. They’re little acrobats, furry and adorable, diving and swooping through our neighborhood each evening.
But somewhere in my house tonight there lurks a spider. It is black and hairy, and well over an inch long. I assure you I’m not exaggerating, because although I did not have the chance to kill the beast, somehow I managed to measure it. It so impressed me that I even pulled out my camera and snapped a few (very blurry) shots as it crawled across the vaulted ceiling of our family room, then described it in detail over the phone when my brother called. The moment I hung up I set about dealing with it, broom in hand to brush it off the ceiling, heavy shoes on my feet to stomp it lest it survive the banging bristles.
Only to find that it had crawled into a crevice I could not reach.
I decided to wait it out. I made breakfast, took a shower, surfed the internet. And then I looked up again, and this time it was gone.
Everywhere I go, I picture the giant creature crawling out between the cushions on which I sit, rappelling onto my neck from a corner of the ceiling, scuttling out from behind the flour when I reach into the pantry for dinner supplies. And judging by the crawling skin on my back at the very thought of the hairy monster lying in wait, I am apparently not immune to the jitters after all.
Update: Did a little research before bed. (Yeah, bad idea. I know. Google Images + Big, Hairy, Fugitive Spiders do not make for sweet dreams.) At any rate, I think it’s a wolf spider. Aren’t they lovely? Don’t you wish you had one hiding in your house right now, lying in wait for you to go to bed so that it can come out and do whatever wolf spiders do to their sleeping victims?
shudders……
We get these giant spiders here and I loathe them. I think the feeling is mutual.
One thing that really freaked me out about moving to Austraila was the thought of all those huge scary spiders – thankfully not too many have jumped out at me so far! The worse thing I discovered was that cockroaches can FLY – I nearly died when one zoomed right into my face. URGH!
I had a cockroach do this to me–I absolutely hate them. I had one caught behind the office desk and had to get the boys to school. I looked as soon as I came back, and it was gone–but where? Ew ew ew!
Here’s what you do: Tie a medium-sized goat to a stake underneath the spider’s lair. When the spider emerges to take the braying bait, drop a hunting net on the arachnid and subdue it with tranquilizer darts. Or an elephant gun.
yikes!! that is creepy. i’ve got my fingers crossed that you’ve smushed him by now and can sleep easy.
Thanks, Sassy Pants! Actually, I slept well the night of, but not so well last night. Think I can blame the full moon for that one, though.
Yay, Anti-Wife! Always nice to meet someone else who has no compunction about killing spiders. No carrying them outside for me, no way!
Eileen, I wouldn’t be surprised. Some of them do just seem to hate the whole world.
Christina, I don’t mind cockroaches, but I can’t imagine how much I would detest them if they flew! Ick!
Oh, Alyssa! I hope you find it very soon.
LOL, Allan! Thanks for the smile, even if the solution isn’t totally workable. (It’s the goat, you see. I’m afraid it’ll pee on the carpet…)
Thanks, Emily! Unfortunately, no dice. I get shivers every time I go into that room, and I’ve looked everywhere, but it’s still GONE!
my sister hates spider, but those creepy crawly things will send your bodyhairs in a boing in second. but no googling about them at ight – the bed bugs might actually bite!!!
Ew. We used to get wolf spiders all the time at my parents house. Your post made me lift my feet off the ground just in case your guest had somehow managed to make it’s way to BC and into my apartment and under my chair. Totally feasible. Really.
Eeeewwwww, I detest bugs, but especially spiders! We get those big brown spiders in the Pacific NW area. And I swear, those creepers appear out of no where when you least expect it. Shudder. I own one of those contraptions you leave plugged into the wall that’s supposed to send out some kind of sonar waves (or something like that) through the walls that is meant to deter rodents and bugs from hanging around. I know it sounds silly, but I swear my spider sightings have been drastically reduced throughout the year since I started using that thing. 🙂 Hey, whatever works, right?
Christina
77free, I LOVE the description–“send your body hairs in a boing in a second”. It’s so true, too.
Sorry, Courtney! I should be more compassionate, because I know that had I read about spiders on someone else’s blog I’d be looking for them here, too.
Christina, I MUST look into one of those! We also get black widows here. Although I haven’t seen any in my house (yet!) we had them often in my old house.They gave me the all-over shivers more than anything ever has.