Dead Horse Point

White Ibis

Desert Penstemon

More Photos





Enter your e-mail address to receive updates:

Delivered by FeedBurner

Search:

I Will Never Be:

By Caryn Caldwell
May 30, 2008
  1. An artist
  2. A soloist
  3. A football fanatic
  4. A size zero
  5. An evil overlord
  6. A henchman
  7. An oenophile
  8. A jazz enthusiast
  9. A mathematical genius
  10. A snooty post-modern deconstructionist

And you?


35 Responses to this post


  1. Kath CalarcoNo Gravatar Says:

    From your list, I’ve never been 4, 5, 6, 9 and 10. I know I’ll never be a size zero, at least not while I’m alive.

    Adding to the list of “nevers:” nuclear physicist, Bill Gates, lima bean lover, and a racist.


  2. DruNo Gravatar Says:

    I’ll never be your whole list. Adding to that I’ll never be famous, a talker, Martha Stewart and in politics.


  3. laineyNo Gravatar Says:

    *Sigh* I think I’ve finally accepted the fact that I’ll never be a princess or a super model.

    With enough wine I can develop an appreciation for jazz, though.


  4. Erica OrloffNo Gravatar Says:

    I am already 3. And I guess 5, since I am Demon Baby’s mother, and therefore am an overlord to a Prince of Darkness. I’m also 8.

    But I will never be . . .

    A singer.
    A Republican.
    A card-carrying member of the PTA.
    A dutiful wife (maybe a wife, but NEVER dutiful).
    A Dallas Cowboys fan (love my NY Giants!)


  5. PamNo Gravatar Says:

    I think you’re awfully bold saying never. That kind of thing just begs the little red gods to come smote you. Wink


  6. Caryn CaldwellNo Gravatar Says:

    Kath, I’m so with you on all of those! Lima beans used to make me throw up — literally — but at least I can stomach them now, even if I don’t love them.

    Dru, you never know about the famous part. Sure you want to tempt the gods with that one? Wink And I’m definitely with you on Martha Stewart and the politics. A talker? Depends on who I’m with.

    Lainey, I LOVED your comment! The wistful, nostalgic tone, your aspirations. And, alas, I have had to give up on those as well.

    Of course, Erica. I would have guessed the jazz. Diary of a Blues Goddess actually gave me more of an appreciation for blues and jazz (I think I recall the latter in the book, or maybe I just equate the two and am therefore adding it in). I actually wish I liked it more.

    Pam, dear, if the gods want to get their revenge on me by shrinking me back down to the size zero I was in early high school, they are more than welcome. Then I’ll eat tons of delicious stuff, jump to a size two, four, or even six, and be content. With my size, at least. Wink


  7. Katie AlenderNo Gravatar Says:

    I would never have been able to tell you I was an oenophile until I looked it up after seeing it written above!

    Alas, I will also never be a size 0 (or 2… or, I suspect, 4). Unless vanity sizing continues, and those poor petite women who are already size 00 end up wearing negative sizes.


  8. RobinNo Gravatar Says:

    A blonde?


  9. Soleil NoirNo Gravatar Says:

    Ouch Robin. Wink Then again what does it say about me that, at the first oppurtunity I got, I dyed it red?

    I’ll take 3,4, 7 and most especially 9 for things I’ll never be. Math is an evil overlord in itself.

    Hmm, Probably 10 too.

    And to add my own “I’ll never be”‘s:
    A rocket scientist
    A basketball fan
    A person who would turn down a can of coca-cola?


  10. IlanaNo Gravatar Says:

    I’ll never be anything on that list either.

    Hmm… I’ll never be a Nobel prize winner.


  11. BrandyNo Gravatar Says:

    I will never be confident around others.
    I will never be comfortable in crowds. (Those are actually 2 different things.)
    I will never be skinny. *G*
    I will never be able to kick my addiction to sweets. *G*
    I’ve been a soloist, you’re not missing much unless you like being terrified. *G*


  12. RobinNo Gravatar Says:

    And me? I’m with ya on your list too, although I do like football enough that you might find me yelling enthusiastically at the television screen. But only once in a while. Wink I’ll also never be a singer. Well, a good singer. I’m a very good bad singer.


  13. Caryn CaldwellNo Gravatar Says:

    Katie, I don’t even know where I learned that word, but it stuck with me. I like how it sounds, so I just had to use it in a blog post. This seemed the perfect one. Grin

    Robin, I’m with you on that one, although my hair does get fairly light in the summers. I don’t think I’d look good as a blonde.

    Soleil, no insult intended, I’m sure. Some people just don’t carry off light hair colors the way others do. That said, I’ve dyed my hair red, too! And I love your additions.

    Me neither, Ilana. But I do admire those who are.

    Brandy, it’s the stage fright that kept me from ever being in any plays, even though I always secretly thought it looked like a lot of fun. And I don’t do well in crowds, either.

    Robin, I loved the “very good bad singer” comment! I know people like that. Actually, it’s in style right now. Just listen to some of the latest alternative music. You could have a career in music ahead of you after all. Wink


  14. PamNo Gravatar Says:

    Okay Caryn (and all dear friends who are getting tagged by association with The Book Lady), given that you’re doing SocNoc, I challenge one of your posts in June to be 10 things you’ll never be as long as they’re positive. Smile

    Here, I’ll start:
    I’ll never be afraid to write anything I want, regardless of my knowledge of the subject/genre, possible reactions by friends or family members or thoughts of getting it published.


  15. LaDonnaNo Gravatar Says:

    Caryn, cool list! Okay, I’ll add a few of my own…..

    I’ll never have firm abs again.
    I’ll never give up coffee.
    I’ll never let ego take over my life.
    I’ll never be a politican.


  16. Joanne RendellNo Gravatar Says:

    I’m a postmodern deconstructionist, but definitely not snooty!


  17. EileenNo Gravatar Says:

    math genius is out for me- but I’m still holding on to my evil overlord plans.


  18. IlanaNo Gravatar Says:

    With kids, being a good bad singer can be very important. As an adult, I know mom can’t carry a tune, but what I remember from my childhood is that she sang to us on car trips, not how well.

    I try to keep that in mind when I’m with my boys – sometimes its not so important how well you do something, but rather that you do it.


  19. Caryn CaldwellNo Gravatar Says:

    I promise, Pam, I’m not being negative! I just don’t want to tempt fate. Wink

    LaDonna, I do try with the abs, but I don’t think they’ll ever be as firm as they used to be. As for being a politician? No way!

    Joanne, you definitely don’t seem the snooty sort!

    Good luck with those, Eileen! Perhaps if you succeed I’ll volunteer to be your henchman after all.

    Ilana, that’s an excellent point, and said well, too.


  20. ErinNo Gravatar Says:

    I’ll never be a quitter. I’m persistent to a fault. =)


  21. Mizzz_KNo Gravatar Says:

    You are an artist with words and photos.

    My list?

    Finished. Fast (though I am very steady). Fashionable. Short. Simple. A liar. Normal. Bored (I might occasionally bore others, but I am never bored.) A chess master. A runner.

    I would have taken number three until a couple years ago when I joined a flag football team. I’m a little more crazy about the game now. Even if not college or professional. :~D


  22. MerrianneNo Gravatar Says:

    i’ll never be a slave….i’ll never love sweet peas…..i’ll never hate another living soul….i’ll never say never Smile

    Merrianne


  23. ElizabethNo Gravatar Says:

    I will never be my mother.


  24. Alyson NoelNo Gravatar Says:

    I love wine and jazz, but I will never be a mermaid or tightrope walker- of this I am sure.


  25. Caryn CaldwellNo Gravatar Says:

    Oh, Erin, I know what you mean! I’m that way, too.

    Wow, thanks Mizzz_K! And I so agree with your list. Especially about being bored. That’s one reason why I love having an imagination — there’s always something interesting to think about.

    Merrianne, great list! I especially liked your last one! That’s why I was so careful about what I said I’d never do/be.

    Elizabeth, that can sometimes be a very good thing.

    Me neither, Alyson. Great ones!


  26. LarramieNo Gravatar Says:

    I will never say never because you just don’t know what’s around the next corner!


  27. Keri MikulskiNo Gravatar Says:

    Love this!

    A singer or a pilot. Smile


  28. The MuseNo Gravatar Says:

    I’ll never be 21 again….At least not in this lifetime.
    Everything else, you never know.
    Never say never–that’s what my Nana told me.


  29. RobinNo Gravatar Says:

    Could I get you to sing backup? Maybe a few others here to chime in as well? Then who knows? We could be the Next Top Musical Group! We’ll become famous, and then that publishing contract – piece of cake!

    So…I will never stop dreaming. Smile


  30. Katie ReusNo Gravatar Says:

    Um, I think you just might be an artist b/c you’re a writer! Smile

    Hmm, I’m not a lot of those things on your list, though #5 sounds like a lot of fun. Maybe not an evil overlord, but an overlord of something could be pretty cool. Like the overlord of Manolo Blahniks? Hey, it could happen!

    My short list of things I’ll never be: involved in politics, a blonde (unless I’m wearing a wig baby!), a lawyer, a yankee (sorry, I had to), and I seriously doubt I’ll ever enjoy watching sports Wink


  31. AllanNo Gravatar Says:

    I am/have been #’s 1,2,3,5,6, 7 ( if Mad Dog 20/20 counts), 8 ( the real stuff, no smooth jazz allowed) and 10. I should be ashamed of myself but I’ll never be contrite, contrition being #11.


  32. ohNo Gravatar Says:

    I will never be on time for work.
    Until I am a full-time writer.
    Then I’ll be up before dawn, writing. (now, I’m scribbling at the other end of the day)


  33. KyleNo Gravatar Says:

    I’ll never be:

    -Boring (god help me)
    -A Sports Fan (though, living in Boston during the first Red Sox win in a million years was kind of intoxicating at the time)
    -NOT An Evil Overlord (I SO want to be an evil Overlord!)
    -A Liar (I always tell the truth! Well, whatever I PERCEIVE to be the truth, anyway…Wink
    -A Pessimist (I just lied)
    -A Businessman (so NOT a lie… went to college for it, hated it, moving on)

    Smile


  34. Caryn CaldwellNo Gravatar Says:

    So true, Larramie!

    Thanks, Keri! And I’m totally with you on both of those!

    Yeah, I’m long past 21, too, Muse. But you know? I think that’s a good thing. I like where I am right now. Smile

    Great one, Robin! And, yes, keep dreaming! Because that’s how you make things happen. And I have no doubt that you *will* make things happen.

    Good point, Katie! What about a visual artist? I’m no painter, drawer, or sculptor, that’s certain! And, yeah, I agree that being an evil overlord does sound tempting, even if it’s not likely to happen in this lifetime. And I loved your list!

    Wow, Allan! You’re a busy guy! I’m most curious about your evil overlordship, though.

    Oh, I’m late way too often, too! Not by much, but I have to be there so early that it’s tough to get up sometimes.

    LOL, Kyle! I loved your list.


  35. allanNo Gravatar Says:

    I was the evil overlord ( and lead guitarist) of an Avant/Anarchist Folk-Metal band in the 80′s and 90′s, a ‘career’ which pretty much covers all the numbers I listed.

    Writers (and songwriter/musicians) are artists in my book. That includes you.



Leave a Reply