In retrospect, the fertilizer might not have been a good idea. Over the last few weeks, this summer’s garden plot has become a very scary place. We’ve been overrun by groping vines and in-your-face leaves. Melon sprawl and wall-to-wall carrot carnage. Sweet pea forests. Six-pound marbled orange beefsteaks. Eggplants that grow like Pinocchio’s nose, expanding by the second.
The only thing that’s not getting any bigger is the size of our garden space.
A specimen from yesterday, pulled up with both hands. In case you thought I was exaggerating. But then, you know me. I never, ever exaggerate.
Give me strength. I fear I may not make it out alive the next time I venture in. Yesterday I barely escaped, stumbling onto the safety of the back patio with just a fistful of dirt-clotted weeds and most of my sanity. Today? Who knows. The lettuce is looking feisty, and the cucumbers have come of age. We may have a real fight on our hands.
Still, someone has to prune the pumpkins before the patch infests the neighborhood, so I’m going in. Soon as I re-tie my shoelaces. And adjust my sunglasses. And gas up the chainsaw. And any other delay tactics I can think of while still looking brave and unhesitant. I hear pumpkins can smell fear.
If you don’t see me staggering back out of this jungle by Thursday, Husqvarna in one hand, wide-brimmed hat in the other, shut off the sprinklers and send in the rescue crew. They’ll know what to do.
Oh, and if you’d like to help hack away the foliage, I’d be forever grateful. I hear the garden center has a nice pair of pruning shears they may let you use. I’m a good customer; surely they’ll share. Just sign this waiver right here, and we’ll get started.
Thanks.
P.S. Salad, anyone? There’s a feast for at least forty in here somewhere.
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About Me
I write the kind of YA novels I loved to stay up reading as a teen -- lots of mayhem, humor, and, of course, romance. I am also a voracious reader and an avid photographer. I live in the southwestern U.S. with my husband, daughter, and two cats. My books are represented by Erzsi Deàk of Hen & Ink Literary Studio.
That is one big carrot. My husband and I love having a garden, too. Last year, we had some carrots that were close but not quite as big as yours. The pumpkins were also a huge hit with the kids (and some of the neighborhood hooligans), but we refrained this year as they took over waaaay too much of the garden space last year. We’ve finally has a successful bean year, though.
Thanks for coming by my cooking blog (http://onecrazygirlskitchen.blogspot.com/). Most of the gardening stuff is on my day-to-day blog (http://randomthingsandkitestrings.blogspot.com/).
Happy gardening!
I don’t have a green thumb, otherwise I’d love to have a garden.
It’s a lot of work, but you sound like you know what you’re doing–unlike me.
It’s my dream too!! To have a garden like that. But you know? Here we’re plagued with rabbits. As in, when I get home at night, I *always* see a couple bouncing around under the headlights of my car.
But CONGRATS on that carrot!
I DO want salad! lol
O.o that’s a weird avatar your blog chose for me. Do I really look like that today? lol
What? You don’t see the resemblance?
Seriously, the monster avatars do crack me up. I love to see what WordPress picks for people (though it’s always a little sad when it picks a good one for a spammer. Spammers don’t deserve my little monsters.)
Congratulations on winning the Sheila Award!!!! Wohoooo! And that’s one monstrosity of a carrot. I bet there’s several envious rabbits who’d love to have it for a snack!
Whoa! That is one huge carrot! Er… if you ever feel like visiting and having a go at my garden…
@Emily – Is there anything better at lunch than fresh veggies? I don’t think so!
@Tonja – I’ve never gown chard, but your blanching/freezing method sounds really good.
@Nancy – Pumpkins do have a way of taking over, don’t they? We pass a few gardens on our occasional evening walks, and it seems like everyone has sprawling melon vines – especially this year, for some reason.
@Madeia – I think a lot of it is luck, a lot is finally having a regular watering schedule (thanks to my husband) and a lot is weather. We’ll see how the garden fares next year!
@Monica – I know, I know…Bunnies are a nuisance, especially when you’re trying to garden. But I still find them so cute that they may just be worth the tradeoff. (Of course, ask me again when/if they discover my garden…) Maybe some fencing or a spray that scares them off?
@Carmen – Thank you! I was very excited. I was tempted to say something about it on my blog, but it felt too braggy to tack on an, “Oh, and by the way, guess what I won?” at the end of my post. And, yes, I bet the rabbits would love that carrot.
@Laura – LOL! I’ll keep it in mind. If only I could keep up with my own garden!
Here’s hoping you made it out alive. Entertaining read!
Love it! My kids are begging for a garden, but we don’t have a yard, so there you go.
Best of luck with those pumpkins!
Oh I LOVE hearing about giant, beautiful, overwhelming gardens of goodness! Yours sounds so pretty and full — it makes me wish I’d put more time into ours earlier. (Ours being more at the putt-putt stage at the moment…but it’s getting there.)
:0)
@Valerie – Thanks! I like to entertain.
@Janet – Sometimes there are community plots you can use (or perhaps rent for a low price). That’s only if you want them to have a garden as much as they want to have one, though!
@M. Christine – Our garden putt-putted for a while at first, too, but it finally caught on. I think there’s a big learning curve, coupled with having the right conditions. Good luck getting it figured out!
I’ll take some! I didn’t do a garden this year, not that it would have mattered with the drought!
This is too funny! I understand (believe me, I do) how gardens can take over. At least you have some yummy veggies. Maybe it’s time to do some canning and freezing? After the weeding, that is. Good luck!
I did my first foray into a garden this year and had a blast with it! such a great experience for me AND my kids!
@Lydia – If you lived closer, we would definitely share! We’re enjoying all the veggies this year, because who knows about next year? Weather is so unpredictable.
@Cynthia – Yes! I definitely need to be better at canning things! I’ve made jam with a friend of mine, but she has to be there the whole time, telling me exactly what to do. (And, to be honest, she does a lot of the work.) Hmmm…maybe she’d like some canned veggies in exchange for her canning expertise? Will have to consider that!
@Missy – That’s exactly what prompted me to take up gardening again – it’s so good for kids!
You’ve given me garden envy.
I’ll trade you, Caryn. Our garden is sadly lacking. Usually our raspberry are crazy with berries. Not this year.
Since I can’t grow veggies in my tiny city garden (San Francisco, too much fog…not enough light) I get a vicarious thrill reading about other gardens, other gardeners. What a fun post!
Oh, how I envy your garden! I’d love to have one. We grew potted tomatoes last summer, they grew to golfball-size, Not enough sunlight and “someone” forgot to water them…
Enjoy your veggie feast! And, in a few months, your pumkin patch! I’d be tempted to quote scenes from It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown
@Leslie – Look on the bright side; the bigger the garden, the more weeding there is.
@Stina – Now I’m officially jealous! I love raspberries, but they don’t grow well here. Yum!
@Sharry – Yes, those would be tough growing conditions. I bet you have some wonderful produce, though. That’s one of the things that impressed me when I was in California – the fruits and vegetables there are amazing! So fresh and delicious.
@Susan – LOL! Yeah, tomatoes do like their water. And now I want to watch Charlie Brown!
That is one big carrot. LOL. Salad sounds really good right now.
@Jenny – I agree. Salad sounds really good. There’s something about summer that makes salads very appealing, you know?
Hey Caryn! Chiming in very late… is there any salad left? I can totally help you hack away at your foliage. It’s growing things that I have difficulty with. My thumbs are so far from green it’s not even funny.
Hope you have a wonderful holiday weekend!
For you, Robin, there’s always plenty of salad. Come have some any time! (Or, you know, if you want to just skip straight to the chocolate, we can do that too…)
Hope you have a great holiday weekend, too!
That’s gotta be the fattest carrot I have ever seen!!
Hey, now. You’re going to give it a complex.
I don’t have a garden but I do have a fig tree and when in season the birds have breakfast on it’s top branches. Sometimes on the weekends, I see them have lunch as well. My family isn’t large and there are more figs than what we can eat. I share with my neighbors and friends so it’s okay for the birds to have some of it.
I’ve thought of planting vegetables but there are a lot of stray cats, squirrels and once I even saw an opossum. So, I haven’t done it yet. Maybe in the future I can set up a small greenhouse in the backyard, that way the vegetables are safe from them.
Your fig tree sounds wonderful! And how great that the birds get to enjoy it, too!
We have a local co-op garden in town that will pick trees, give people half of the produce, and sell the other half at the farmers’ market. Maybe you have something like that in town? The one downside is that then you get all the fruit at once, so it might go bad.
Oh, and a greenhouse would be fantastic!