Dieting, Step-by-Step

Posted by on Jan 30, 2011 in By the Numbers, If I Were the Queen, Let's Get Personal | 21 comments

The Five Phases of a Successful Diet:
1. The Vow
2. The Plan
3. The Drunken Optimism
4. The Sacrifice
5. The Happy Scale

The Five Phases of an Unsuccessful Diet:
1. The Vow
2. The Plan
3. The Drunken Optimism
4. The Sacrifice
5. The Consolation Chocolate

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21 Comments

  1. Dru 01/30/2011

    and that snicker bar was delicious.

    Reply
  2. Caryn Caldwell 01/31/2011

    LOL! I love Snicker bars. Definitely worth waiting until tomorrow to start the diet.

    Reply
  3. Lois Moss 01/31/2011

    Ah. So true. LOL.

    Reply
  4. hush 01/31/2011

    Stuck on “Drunken Optimism.”

    Reply
  5. Jennifer Shirk 01/31/2011

    ha! This did make me chuckle. :)

    Reply
  6. Pamala Knight 01/31/2011

    Item number 5 on the unsuccessful plan needs a bit of editing. I think it needs to include a formula for the inverse number of pounds lost/gained as related to the number of pounds of consolation chocolate consumed. Plus one.

    ;-)

    I feel your pain, so acutely it isn’t even funny. But thanks for the giggles.

    Reply
  7. Stacy 01/31/2011

    Sadly, that is quite true.

    Reply
  8. Marilyn Brant 01/31/2011

    LOL, Caryn. I’d like to offer a more specific #5: The Consolation Godiva Truffle.
    :)

    Reply
  9. Robin 02/01/2011

    LOL – so true!

    Reply
  10. Jessica 02/02/2011

    Hahahaa, funny!

    Reply
  11. Caryn Caldwell 02/02/2011

    @Pamala – LOL! I’ll get right on that. :-)

    @Stacy & Robin – You have that happen to you, too? Ugh!

    @Marilyn – That sounds DELICIOUS! Definitely worth ruining a diet for. Though you know how I like my Ghiradelli…

    @Jessica – Thanks! :-)

    Reply
  12. Jessica (BookLover) 02/04/2011

    Mmm… Ghiradelli. Now I’m craving chocolate. I’ll have to stop by the Ghiradelli shop this weekend for a chocolate sunday. You can’t beat free chocolate while you wait in line. :)

    Reply
  13. Alyssa Goodnight 02/04/2011

    So true. :) I’m way to quick to reward myself for a little progress.

    Reply
  14. Katie 02/05/2011

    I am on the ‘drunken optimism’ phase. Emphasis on the ‘drunken’, which could be why I need the diet in the first place. I look forward to the results – or the consolation CHEESE to be had later. Hope you’re successful! :)

    Reply
  15. LoryKC 02/08/2011

    Sounds like Katie and I are on the same page!
    For years, I avoided the scale. My husband and I agreed it was healthier not to own one. It’s more fun to watch your clothes grow! ;)
    For some stupid, stupid reason though, I went out and bought one last year.
    The good news is, I know how much my children weigh without a trip to the doctor’s offce. The bad news is, I know how much I weigh without a trip to the doctor’s office.

    Reply
  16. Caryn Caldwell 02/13/2011

    Jessica – Oh, that sounds WONDERFUL! Though I’m kind of glad we don’t have a Ghiradelli shop here, or I’d be super fat and flat broke.

    Alyssa – The rewards are the best part. No wonder it’s so tempting to skip right to them. And if you aren’t eligible for rewards, well, there’s always compensation…

    LOL, Katie! And, yes, I can definitely see you enjoying your cheese instead of chocolate. If I had my way, I’d have BOTH. Unfortunately, I do have my way on that one – all too often!

    LoryKC – Bathroom scales are evil! They’re as tempting as chocolate, but they make you feel even worse when you give in.

    Reply
  17. Barrie Summy 02/23/2011

    So, that’s how it works! ;)

    Reply
  18. Judy Croome 04/03/2011

    HAHAHAHA! That second number 5 (the consolation cookie) is a step I’m very familiar with!!! :)
    Judy (South Africa)

    Reply

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